eschewal

Either Discontent Or Fallen Dreams

2007-09-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

Suddenly it became bleak again. Oh well. I don't like having to chase after broken dreams. The worst thing is I will piece them back together and frame it on the wall for a painful reminder.

That's the worst thing ever. Hello, the unfulfilled.

It's a perfect 6 to get in. It's a perfect 8 for the others. 2 points. So much difference.

This sucks la, aiya.

---

On the other hand, I should be contented.

On the other hand I never really was made to be contented with anything I have.

And that's why this is sad.

Godsend/t

2007-09-28T15:37:00.000+08:00

Today made me signiiiiiificantly happier. Haha although physics was crapshit but who cares! Not in my L1R5 anyway. You point point point "Eh you did so badly" so whaaaaat. As long as its not in my R5, I can hardly be bothered...

Today was the time of just desserts.

Emath was phew man. Even though Paper 1 was horrendous (58/80 - told you I did badly) THANK YOU PAPER 2, you're a godsend/t :) Anyway in ANY sense I'm happy that paper2 pulled me right back up the charts.

Geography was the best goddamned thing that ever happened. Well, it was hugely better than stinky Combined Humanities. The other two classes didn't seem very happy though. Uh oh. And I heard my friend was crying so ... that isn't good either. Oh well, let's just make sure we do well for o levels.

I'm still very angry at Chemistry. It totally ruined my R5, now that I reflect upon my results.

I'm very angry at Chemistry. GAH DAMNIT.

Current L1R5 standing: 10 (-)

Let it be minused, let is be MINUS-ED!! :) Then I can go NJ liao, yay!

Can go with CHEW SHU LINGG.

Wreck of the (Second) Day

2007-09-27T14:46:00.000+08:00

Current L1R5 standing: 12(+)

Oh well, Combined Humanities WAS the worst event of the day, as correctly predicted by Pram. Now I realise *why* I dislike C.H so much. I will never ever ever take it for my Humans >( But Geog isn't looking too good - Geog girls you know why, right, haha Mrs Sherwoodetcetc - so there goes my L1R5 :(

Moderate already, MODERATE.

Pssst:

Xxx (Unknown identity because I forgot who the person was): Miss Yee! Moderate chem LAH, TWO MORE MARKS ONLY, TWO MORE MAAAAAAAAARKS!
Miss Yee: OK OK!

LOL, PROMISE AH, PROMISE AH HAHAHA.

Aye Chem really suckssss.

Quite scared for EM tmr. Paper 2 was okay but Paper 1 wasn't good at all. So I'm very worried ahaha. Paper 2 please pull paper 1 up. Aiya EM give me A1 can already.

4Purity Honour Roll for Today:
Chew Shu Ling - Awarded Best in AM (Marks unable to be disclosed.)
Sheena Ong Huimin - Awarded SECOND Best in AM (Sorry, confidential!)
Chew Shu Ling - Award (?) place in Bio (haha - who was the dude who got 84 ah?)
Chew Shu Ling - Award for outstanding performance in C.H. (Haiz ahahha)
Chew Shu Ling - AWARD FOR GUO BAO!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHA.

Congratulations to all 4Puritians for the Bio results! Everyone got B3 and above! Woohoo :) Now let's pray we'll all do well for Geog cause C.H. is way beyond hope.

Tata !

Oh,

I suppose today was a better day than yesterday. By not much, though.

Wreck Of The Day

2007-09-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

This is going to be emo. If you can't handle emo, don't read on.

I want to cry, again. This is severely, severely depressing. I think I am like this because:

1. I was born negative.
2. I have parents stressing me and telling me everyday I'm stupid and I can't make it to JC.
3. I'm in a very mugger class with people who don't need to study also can score.

I used to think people who killed themselves over results were very stupid. Now I'm starting to see sense in their doing. Its all about living up to your standards, right? True. I already failed myself, on so many countless occasions. (PSLE...etc.) I pray, that everyday a car would just somehow knock into me and kill me or place me in a coma. I pray, that a robber would stab me. I dreamt about this, yknow, and I dreamt about me thanking him for killing me.

How incredibly twisted.

I don't know what's wrong with me. There are onlookers who say, "I did fine. Not very well, but fine." Did you ever know fine is never enough for me? It's sad. Two marks to A1 to me means two marks to pass for others. Yknow? That feeling? But I don't care. I can't care about others until I've taken care of myself. I'm stressed out. Stressed out like crazy. I come home and I can't do work. I come home and hide to cry. And sometimes, I find that I'm too tired to cry. Sometimes I wish I could jump out of the window.

Sometimes I wish I really could just die.

This is not fucking emoing, btw.

I'm disappointed. You know I wanted to make it to HC. The only reason I told anyone of you I didn't want it anymore was because I couldn't make it there. For obvious reasons. If you don't know then forget it don't read anymore. By looks of it, NJ and VJ are impossible. AC is impossible.

Australia looks highly appealing.

I've decided. If I don't get to AJ, I'm going to:

1. Run into some Poly and break off relations with everyone. I don't want to face anyone I knew before my new life. I don't want to remind myself of my failure(s).
2. Run to australia.

IP ppl won't understand a thing about prelims. And it's importance. No one will, except the Sec 4's.

I want to cry so bad. I want to disappear from the earth.

I hate myself for being so "mentally inept in scoring for Prelims & O's". I fucking hate myself.

Apologize - Timbaland feat. One Republic

2007-09-26T14:55:00.001+08:00

I don't want to say anymore than this word for now: Moderate.

Please. Please. Please. I know it's my fault for not doing well for Chemistry but PLEASE moderate. You will because 1/4 of our cohort failed, and that's worse than last year. You moderated last year's one too! I sound too hopeful. Please ):

Current expected L1R5: 13 (+).

I hope it gets better, okay?

------

Miss You, Lover

I miss you lover, a little more than I should
'I'm fine thanks and so's the neighbourhood'
That would be my reply had you asked
Here baby, insert interlude:

Without you boy I'm colour-blind,
Life's black & white, like piano keys
And I can't deny its why-oh-u on my mind;
Used to be a pretty couple, you & I
I'd be the right girl and you the guy
Why'd you have to leave me high and dry
Oh boy, why'd we have to say goodbye?

There's a love mug missing on the table
And voids from our photographs
A lover gone from the shared bathtub
Quiet rooms without our laughs

Was it wrong choices or just plain fate
'Cause we're both so misunderstood
Can you hear me now baby,
Bring on the interlude:

Without you boy I'm colour-blind,
Life's black & white, like piano keys
And I can't deny its why-oh-u on my mind;
Used to stay up to talk through night
And the feeling was indescribable but it felt right
What put out the fire we worked to ignite,
Don't know baby, hence these words I write

So this is it, our separate lives
And I miss you lover, a little more than I should
So long before heartbreak arrives
I'd suppose a quiet goodbye has done me good

Another day, out of my way

2007-09-25T16:52:00.001+08:00

Thoughtful. I suppose I'm both anxious and dreading tomorrow; prelim results are frightening, to say the least... (understatement of the year?). Sigh. I think I'm tired of telling people that I'm scared, and I'm tired that I'm always so worried about it. I'm tired, and that's why I'm giving up slightly, on caring about how it turns out. The user knows when she's done badly, and the user knows it all too well.

The user feels dead today.

Prelims, important. Very important. Unlike some of you who still have a lovely chance at O's, I don't. Not trying to be mean or anything, but you know the situation if you don't take HCL. Hoho. I want to laugh. I feel like a C-class worm trying to become an A-class worm. And all the B/A-class worms are always priviliged, and it's so hard to knock them off the pedestal where you, the worm, rightfully belong.

Sigh, I encounter people of different ages telling me the same thing everyday.

Yes, I know. I know that I'm not the most brilliant person in my class and neither am I even close. I know and I never ever said that I was smart. On the contrary, I've always been reminding people that I'm not, and probably never will be. Woe be me, why do we base everything on academics, really. The TP and HC presenter has proven alot of things with just mere presentation. Academics, so what, not like you can _______ __ ____ __ ___ right? Hc presenter was just demoralising, anyway. No one actually listened because everyone was just.

So. Depressed.

Or actually, they really couldn't be bothered. I pick more of the latter.

Just want to hold our hands and pray that we'll all be together and happy, wherever we go to.

Dawn has said I can't save this, am gone
Can't rescue it from the depths of
The sea, roaring
And the ocean
Plus a thousand miles above I wonder;
I wonder if you're alright.

It's breaking my heart to show & tell,
It's tearing my apart to take you through -
It's slowing me down all the way, adventure
And here I am, by your side
Telling you now that I'm alright.

PAE : Pre-Amateur Exercise.

2007-09-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

I walked along the Family Lounge and was astounded at the glaring red words that were addressed to the Sec 4's:

Wednesday: EL, HCL & Chem.
Thurs: More papers (I think it's Biology and Amath and smth?)
Friday: Rest of the papers ): -> Geog, Emath.. etc.

Oh god, please, no.

I'm not mentally or physically prepared to see it. I'm going to cry when I see my results, because I would say: Freak, I knew this, and I got it wrong.

I'm going to get 16 POINTS (MAX.) Don't separate me from my classmates. I want to go to the same J.C. as everyone ): If everyone goes to the top few and I'll be in some U.J.C then I'm really one sad case. Like I said, I don't want to go to a J.C. which is (to me) unknown.

And I mean, UNKNOWN. If it happens I will skip the entire 1 month and go holiday. Go holiday and study JC syllabus, yah.

Oh, good news to VJC-go-ers. VJC cut off RAW SCORE is 10 for prelims. Not bad ! But I still can't make it (16) SO. -_- -_-

Temasek Poly & HCJC are coming to talk tmr. NJC, maybe.

Not very interested but I have no choice. True what. Go for what. I'm not a poly person (No, I'm not biased, I've already decided I'm going to JC no matter what.) and you know about the other one; No hope and no way possible. Don't dream anymore, Sarah.

B.t.w, I'm going to the science stream in J.C. I've decided I want to puruse ELIT in Uni, but for safety precautions I'll take science as a accompaniment ! :D Elit will be my top top topppppppp priority ! :)

I pray for the best, for wed-fri. Don't let me cry so much.

Double Meaning, Honey.

2007-09-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

My cursive scrawls are penned in
Dilute black ink from your quill

I'm on your list of pretty whores,
Whores you've kept now and then,
Whores you've claimed you love like
The jewels encrusted on their hands

But I am special (You're not special)
And this love's true (I don't believe you)
I am what I am (You're nothing but a whore)
I really love you (I hate you.)

Read this.

What you percieve of me, is nothing but your opinions
All gathered into a ball of distrust & hatred.
(I fucking hate you.)
You speak tales of me to your brethen, those dirty lot
They wine and dine women for their meals
(No, I didn't.)

Don't smile your flirtatious smile for me,
That's been to all other women on the earth.
(It's only for you, I swear.)
Don't hold me back, sway me with honeyed words
Don't make intentional mistakes, don't,
Don't pull me back into your embrace
(Come back to me.)

Cupping your cheek, I say I fear you, because
You manipulate me and I'm already broken at your feet
(I'm sorry, I truly am)
Don't tell me you're sorry, don't ride me guilt
Don't leave me like I'm the arch nemesis
(No, it's me, it's me.)

Cause I ~~fucking~~ love every inch of hurt
You've killed this heart and brought it back
And you've woven it on puppet strings
I'll dance for you and please you like no other
You know it,
I know it.

And I know I'm dead inside,
And I know that I can't hide,

When you say ___'__ _______,
I know you haven't at all.

Double Digits

2007-09-23T09:20:00.000+08:00

Haha, it started off rainy today. I'm going out later to buy some things (:

No one sees me,
But the silver moon

2007-09-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

I think this test is so freaking ACCURATE.

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?

Oh my FRIGGIN GAWD.

Flaws:- No, I don't always think I'm right. Excuse me I do admit that people are sometimes more right over me. FLAW FLAW FLAW.

---

Let's talk about me.

Lovely quiz, for nailing the nail on the head. Right. I'm depressed. I'm very depressed. And I can act happy if any of you want me to, and if you all want someone to be happy for you. But I can't truly be happy. It's funny again. I exasperate people, because they simply can't get me to think otherwise. What's the point. Thinking otherwise equates to being optimistc, which also indirectly equates to "getting your hopes up". I don't want to hope so much, dream so much, THINK so much until it's never really going to happen.

It's true. There really isn't anyone I can talk to. People are biased against me; in the sense that they already have some pre-conceived notion about me. Like, "How badly could I do," and some extremely annoying people talk to me everyday and REMIND me that "You're so smart, gosh you can do it Sarah, oh PLEASE, I'll fail if YOU fail, etc."

She says it. every. single. day.

If she isn't tired of saying it, I'm tired of hearing it. Why can't someone just believe that I'm not who you think I am? Why can't someone believe me when I say I did badly? I did. Do you think I have an IQ of 160? I'm don't. I can't do simple math problems. I can't do my homework flawlessly in less than 30 minutes without encountering some problems. I freak out, I cry, and I mug as hard (or maybe more little) like any of you.

I want to talk to people who understand me. But no one really does. I thought I have friends who I could. Best friends couldn't even do it. Everyone's so annoyingly optimistic, but yeah, I guess it's just me. I hate it you know. I hate it when people go, "You can do it!" and smile. I bloody freaking hate it, because I very well know I can't, and I hate people who think I can without even THINKING why I mentioned it.

People who joke with me, people who play with me; it makes me feel like a toy. I feel like a joke. I want to study, but I have no mood to study. It's so depressing. It's not so depressing until I want to jump out the window (Well I do, but I don't want to feel pain, so dying isn't an option), but it is depressing.

It's like it's taken whatever life I had left out of me, completely.

Yes, you're right. I don't like myself. I hate myself. Haha. Amusing, right. I've never seen a more putting-off person than myself. If I could, I want to eradicate your lives from me. I don't want to born. I just want to be a ghost who wanders, to see things people don't see.

Why ask me to write a testimonial. I want to vomit, I can't even think of my good points.

You're asking me to lie.

I don't like people saying, "It doesn't matter". I don't like so many of things people tell me. Its like, "Are you trying to CONVERT me?" Right. For the better, right. Everything is for the better. I don't want to be disappointed.

I always disappoint myself. I want to know why I'm never good enough. Do you know why I'm never good enough? You can't name a thing, can you. You can't possibly help someone who's tragically in a well and is drowning. You either don't want to save the person, or you're afraid you yourself will die.

That's why people in wells die alone.

And yet, I have to pretend like I'm a cheerful person. No worries, it'll all be fine. And up to now, no one actually realises I'm not as happy as you all think.

I just want a friend who can see. But no one can.

For now, maybe it was supposed to be like this. Who knows?

---

I hate ...

- When you joke about very unintelligent things, which you think is very funny but it isn't because it's insulting. And because it doesn't concern you. Then you go, "Don't be angry, okay?!" - giggle - Are you trying to make me ill? How positively sickening.

- I dislike it when people readily assume things about me that they don't know. Are you the worm in my stomach. Are you the teacher? How would you know? So, shut up please, if you have no clue. At all.

- When you compare your results with mine. Not that I don't care, but if there's one thing I've learnt I don't want to compare. WHY? Because so what. You get yourself depressed and you start saying, "OMG OMG! HOW'D YOU DO IT." And plus, there's no point in comparing. Our results can't be exchanged, can it. So, CAN IT.

- Whenever you start going on your "mugging trips". You STRESS me, you know that. You finished SS on the tuesday of the sept hols, when I haven't even started, and you brag. You scold me because I LACK time management. Well, fuck, I don't have time. Fine, SCOLD all you want. Why don't you try having three sciences and THREE HEAVY humanities (I count pure geog, ss and history) and THEN we come and TALK about time manangement, OKAY? YA, of course you're luckier. You don't WORRY about biology, YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT HOW THE HUMAN ORGAN SYSTEM WORKS AT ALL BECAUSE YOU DON'T FUCKING TAKE BIOLOGY.

I'm paragraphing. SO DON'T READILY assume, that BIOLOGY IS SOME KIND OF "JUST MEMORISE AND SPIT EVERYTHING OUT" BECAUSE IT FUCKING WELL ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS EASY BUT IT ISN'T, WHAT THE HECK. Why don't you try it. Seriously. You take what I'm taking. It's fun, right. It's so tremendously fun to LECTURE ME ON MY TIME MANAGMENT.

WE DON'T TAKE THE SAME COMIBINATION. WE FUCKING DON'T. So you know what just SHUT UP and DON'T SAY I HAVE BAD TIME MANAGEMENT. IF YOU WERE IN MY COMBINATION, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IF YOU HAVE AS MUCH TIME AS I DO.

YOU TRY IT, GO AHEAD. TRY MEMORISING AND USING YOUR COMMON SENSE IN BIO, DOING PHY, DOING CHEM, MEMORISING 2 BOOKS FOR GEOGRAPHY, 2 FOR SS AND ETC.

God I fucking hate this.

You know what? Screw THIS, and screw yourself. I don't want to hear anything from you.

And P.S. My classmates, don't really like you too, because you do this to everyone you know. You're retarded and SICK, you know that.

Tired of being sorry.

2007-09-22T10:39:00.001+08:00

Rose petals strewn on water,
Dimmed lights and the occasional wonder
Lips touching liquid, lavender scent
Wanders about the room

All I hear is the water running,
Down my hand onto the floor,
All I see is your memory
Walking out the door

From where I don't know, the music plays
As the steam engulfs what's whole
And the words I used my tears to write
On the mirror, now disclosed

All I hear is the sound of my breathing,
In slow and distressed sighs
All I feel is cold and empty,
Whispers of lovers and passer-bys

The tap's dripping every twenty seconds,
Estranged, the sound's grows fainter
As the fallen slowly slipping under
Bubbles of last words spoken underwater

And,
All I hear is the sound of you swearing,
Unintelligible words mixed in sobs
All I feel is warm wet hands,
And the distant sound of your heart's throb

Somewhere,
I want to reach out and wipe your tears
Say it's alright and erase your fears
And I'm sorry my last words didn't reach your ears
I love you, but it's better you didn't hear

Fairy playing Zither

2007-09-21T22:07:00.003+08:00

Fairy playing zither,
Outlined by the moonlight,
The poor man speaks; “I know what heaven is,
For I am seeing it,”

He, brave,
Emboldened, asks
For the name to match the face
Of the willowy figure in the beauty’s grace,
Won’t you spare a letter?

And she, mindful
Differences between earth and sky – yet
Takes his coarse hand,
In one elegant breath,
Quietly asks him to be with her tonight

Riiiidiculous.

2007-09-21T19:37:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I've used the entire post to rant.

Is it funny? I'll answer this; I think it's laughable. Completely ridiculous. I'm supposed to be cheering, "Prelims are over" and etc etc like almost all the other blog posts. You know, like this is a huge milestone and it's o-v-e-r. Well I think it makes me feel nothing but emptiness.

I didn't do enough, again. I'm starting to wonder - Hey, should we just blame it on ourselves for not doing it, or should blame the teachers with papers designed to kill us? But when I reflect, I realise the Prelim papers were doable. They WERE doable. Some were easy (math). But how did I make so many mistakes? Where did I go wrong? I don't understand. I don't know who or what to blame. Maybe it's just me.

I know - I should be, "Well, you can't do anything about it now, so don't think about it." But I can't help but think about it. I just ruined my future, when I don't even know what it is. Yes, prelims isn't everything. O levels isn't everything. Polytechnic isn't so bad. I know that.

I KNOW THAT.

But when I think about it, it hurts. I want to be in the best schools, I want to see a record I can be proud of. I'm not proud of any aspect of myself.

The funny thing was, when I asked people what they wanted to steal from me, they replied, "Money", "Brains", "Ability to hug & love", "Determination" and "Childishness". If these are my good qualities, then I might as well have none. I don't like any aspect of myself, because there's nothing to be proud of it.

Proud of what. Proud that I make lame jokes and act like a monkey all day? How does that make someone proud of me. I just amuse, that's all. I know very well what's my significance of my actions. I just do it, because if I wallow up and refuse to talk it'll be worse.

Somehow I feel neither way would work. Then what would?

I want my results. I don't understand why I wasn't born a little smarter. Should I have had tution? Would that help?

I'm disappointed. I decided to "let myself have friday off", because I'm tired. I'm very tired of prelims, and I'm tired of being depressed. It was like residing in Depression Zone for 2 weeks. I simply gave up on emath, because I knew there was nothing to drive me on anymore.

And when I come home all I hear is,

"Why are you watching TV, can't you spend some time to do your English?"

Will it hurt to let me rest? No one understands a student's mind but a student itself. And no one understands the student's ability but herself. Right, I should do my work. I should drive myself.

I should become less useless.

I need to be a better person. I need to work hard.

And yet, I don't really know what I need.

.

2007-09-20T13:50:00.000+08:00

Okay, LOOK, people.

I got the map question wrong.
I got the settlement one wrong (rice padi)
I got the shop one wrong
I got the spit one wrong.
I got the weathering question wrong.
I got the deposition in the river one wrong.
I got another 3 wrong, I'm just too upset to think.

So, in the end, I'm going to be worse than you both (Shu&RX), so don't compare.

F---, I hate this I freaking hate this. My prelim score is going to be (max) 14. Or it could be worse.

English - b4 (Don't look at me like that. I got B4 for last year TOO, if you DIDN'T know.)
Both Math - A1 (I hope.)
Bio - B3.
Chem - B3.
Chinese - A2
Geog/CombiHumans - B3

14 oh my FREAK wtf this is all because I didn't study hard enough. Oh wtf I only have myself to blame for my results.

That's it, no more playing around, I'll come back from EM paper and start studying Physics. Apparently I can't depend on anything now, and everything's falling apart.

I don't want to spend my 1st month somewhere I've never heard the name of. Sorry.

Settlement.

2007-09-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

:(

:((((((((

:((((((((((((

Tadah, mood of the day.

I think it's,
Something,
Odd.

I hate prelims.
I hate physics.
I hate this that and everything.
I hate the fact that after slacking on friday, I have to study (again),
due to my horrible marks for prelims,
I probably can't even make it into AJ
This totally
Stinks.

I gotta mug so hard, that on the day before O levels, I can sleep the entire day off. >(

Physeeeeeeks?

2007-09-18T15:55:00.000+08:00

Talk about afternoon surprises,
Cherry ribbon on my door
Empty wine glasses lipstick-marked
Happy birthday cakes on floors

Metal necklaces, crossheart, swear
Leaning on the wall of despair
Revising your photographs like,
A test on my worship

What am I?

Hmmmmm. Mugging for Physics nowww :(

Back to mugging :)

P.S. Math was - - - ? And History was -- \ .......

Hahha. Go, decode.

PD: Prelim Depression

2007-09-17T17:35:00.000+08:00

That morning,
Silk wrapped around my ankles
Breathing nothing but your peppermint
Traces left on the pillows

You left, knowing I missed you so
Left the dishes undone, why'd you go?

:( Ehist is horribly eeeeevil. Actually got time to study everything but nothing goes in. So I decided to study only 2,3,4,6,8,9. 1 is stupid. I read through 5. 7 is -_- So I shall only do those 6 ! THEY BETTER COME OUT ! Later 1,5,7 :O I die. HAHA.

Nevermind, I think prelims schedules people to die. LOLLL.

Bio was horrendously ... baaaad :( I screwed Paper 2 Section A AND B. Gosh. If I can get A1 for Bio it's gonna take a miracle.. like another miracle for chem.

OMG DIAN CHUN is so incredibly lucky. She's getting half of her Eng Grade from her overall which is A2. GAHHHHHHH.

Oh, all hail oral. *Kowtow* Thank god for the 20%. *kowtow!!!*

That night,
Bedtime stories for the kids
Where's daddy dear, where'd he go
Love us no more, how'd you know?

Bottle cap on its side, pills on the floor
Dying in lovely memories tonight
While you sip your wine,
From another's touch.

Did you die, I wonder.

Chapter 15: Hormones

2007-09-15T20:51:00.000+08:00

That's where I've studied up to for Biology. Gahh. But hahaha, nevermind. Prelims will be over soon :) Can go out with my classmates. For only a day, of course. Then it's mugging all over again...

- faints.

She've a gun and a fifty in her pocket,
That's all the love she needs
Versace shades and wine of 1969,
And the clover from her backyard

Countryfolk say she needs some lovin'
(Some lovin' tonight)
Got to smile with her guy and get right
She've a gun and a fifty in her pocket,
She's got all the lovin' she needs tonight

Cold blooded murderer,
Dominatrix in heels
She's the leather-clad 362436,
Behind the Ferrari wheels

Lovers and bygones say she needs some lovin'
(Some lovin' tonight)
Go to a motel with a stranger and get right
But she've got a gun and a fifty in her pocket,
She's got all the lovin' she needs tonight.

(Like she'll show you how broken she is inside,
Like she'll pull the trigger and say heaven aside,
Like she'll tell you the way she feels is right,
I've got all the lovin' I need tonight)

Bearer of Good News?

2007-09-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

I have good news! (Well, sorta. If it happens.)

Valerie (senior) said that they will moderate the papers if it's very difficult.

They better moderate chem or ELSE >(

She got 8 marks added to her AMATH paper after moderation. That's 1.5 grades. :O

Omg. See. SEE.

PRELIMS you suck, officially. Gah.

If You Don't, Don't

2007-09-12T13:07:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I come online every frikkin day. Hahaha. I'm so addicted :((((((

Chem can be described in a string of Symbols: (#$*($#*$)@(#@! !

Okay, now that's done..

GEOG ! God my brain is seriously saturated. I think I know how it feels like to be an alkane. I think I'm already half an alkane. I'm not really an organic compound.

I don't know why chemistry terms are coming out >_<

Brittle seaglass, Pretty in it's fragility,
And your voice echoes in shells
Seafoam tickling your ten toes,
Sounds of the ocean ringing bells

Footprints in the sand, washed away
I call your name and,
Walked away in your memory, step by step
Holding your limp hand

I wish you weren't dead.

Comma, Fullstop.

2007-09-11T12:15:00.000+08:00

The tiny silver in her words,
Reflects and tells a story.

Face it, honey

2007-09-10T16:57:00.000+08:00

We've been talking on the phone for hours,
Like best friends and a little more,
French just don't speak English, honey
Run away with your Latin whores

I screwed English because I wrote the wrong format for Situational :(

A.MATH WAS :OOOOO ?!?! HAHAHAHA it was easier than expected. I thought it would be horribly difficult. I think I made some careless mistakes though, but aiya nevermind. I was supposed to do badly for Prelims any-waaaaay.

~~I WANT 2 BE ON THE BOARD :(~~

It's five o's clock and a little slower,
I see the sunrise and the dimmer after
Welcome the early riser and the later
Pray your human soul don't waver

Ace of hearts, Jack of Spades
Zeus, the king and the Lord of Hades
I leave this poem incomplete
For another time, another place we shall meet.

Laughter, Questionable??

2007-09-09T12:59:00.000+08:00

Over and over, it's on replay
I'm living in the heartbreak again
The words h a u n t me, and they
Rearrange to form your lies.

If you can't spell l o v e,
You can't spell straight
I'm teetering on the line
Drawn between love & hate

I can't deny you're everyw h e r e,
And look left look right, you're always t h e r e,
This is a r a c e where the loser c a r e(s)
Insert _ _ _ _, enter the lion's lair.

4.5

2007-09-09T08:49:00.000+08:00

Okay.

I officially know how it feels like to get 4.5 hours of sleep. This is because yesterday/today I ONLY got 4.5 hours of sleep. Come to think about it, it's not so bad.

Woke up at 6.05 a.m. to study GEOG until (well it's still ongoing) 10.am. gosh. Madness. I've decided to resign to my fate of getting horrible Prelim results (because the paper will be shit difficult and I'll die a miserable death), but I have to score 5A1s OR MORE for my O levels.

If I don't I'll be terribly, terribly, upset. I'm just worried about English la. I screwed my oral, I think I got an A2/B3 (saw the person writing.. but didn't really see it clearly)

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I THINK MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS JUST BEEN SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-__- I want to go and do Vocational Training.

Someone to knock you off the charts.

2007-09-07T17:14:00.000+08:00

:)

I AM EXTREMELY HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPY WITH MYSELF!

Subjects finished:
Chem.

YAY!! (minor achievement - SO? :D)

On SS now. AHHHHH Book 4 is reallly >< I finished 1-3 (but 1's fuzzy.) Hmm. I guess I'll do math now, and finish chap 4 to 6 tmr! :D

YAY !

WISH ME LUCK <3

?

2007-09-05T19:40:00.000+08:00

I really shouldn't be here. I should be really, 100% focused on Chemistry. Unfortunately, I'm not.

Tomorrow, I'm having a studying session with Deborah @ AMK Library. I promise myself I won't talk (much). I WILL DO PHY AND SS! YES.

AHHHHH I'm such a failure :(

I should have done more than this. Urgh. Wth.

:( I'm sad.

GY Love

2007-09-04T12:31:00.000+08:00

I love Gong Yoo I love you I love youuuuuuu :)

Yes. I'm studying Growth of Nations (SS) now. GY, BLESS ME :) HAHA.

Eh, I think he's seriously my favourite Korean Actor of All Time. I've never seen someone so caring (in person) to his co-stars and he's so cute ! :( Aiyo. Is he some kind of demigod?! Ahhhhh his sixpecs. AHHHHHH >< I still remember the scene where he walks out of the bathroom half-naked...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH ><

Omg Omg Omg. Yes, I love GY, forever and ever and ever. My god, I wish YEH and him would get together. AIYER, where did the "fall for your Co-stars" thing go?

Btw, I hate you, Korean Army. How dare you ENLIST GY INTO THE ARMY OMG NOW I WON'T SEE HIM IN ANY KOREAN DRAMA OR MOVIE FOR 2 WHOLE BLOODY FRIKKIN YEARS AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. HE DOESN'T NEED TO GO ARMY HE'S SO BUFF ALREADY HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO FANS EVERYWHEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE >< WAH YOU'RE KILLING KOREAN FILM INDUSTRY!

I heard the guy from "Love in Bali" is going to be enlisted too. Doesn't mean much to me, but apparently alot of people are sad. I'm sad over it (GY) too. ><

The other Bali guy just came out of service.

AHHHHHHHHH STUPID KOREAN ARMY ENLISTMENT )#$#($#$(#)$#($# !!!

Right. I'll curse more later. Now, back to SS! :D

Coffee Prince

2007-09-03T11:21:00.000+08:00

Last week, my favourite was: Kim Jeong Hoon.

Yes, the prince. Fragile Peach! The man on my wall.

HOWEVER,

I HAVE NOW FALLEN IN LOVE WITH GONG YOO OMG OMG OMG HE'S SO CUTE AND I LOVE THE WAY HE ACTS IN COFFEE PRINCE.

I SWEAR I LOVE COFFEE EVEN THOUGH I STILL STRICTLY FORBID MYSELF FROM DRINKING CAFFEINE OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

HE'S JUST SO ><

AND THE GIRL IS JUST SO ><

I'M IN LOVE AGAINNNNNNNNNNN XD

Queer

2007-08-31T22:56:00.000+08:00

Isn't it queer?

Like I said, it's enjoyable to read people. It surprises me that people who think they can act very well actually don't. You work so hard on building a fort around yourself, to build this false facade that everyone will take you for. And yet as meticulous as you may be, you fail to notice you forget to keep up appearances every now and then. People are just waiting for the chance, and you so easily give yourself away. Are you stupid?

If this is a game, I'd win ages ago. You'll be facing a screen reading Game Over. I simply don't understand your personality. That is your goal, right? To make it so everyone loves the false you, so they take you for the popular person you really aren't. It's sad, because you probably don't realise you do it. But I think you do. You seem rather manipulative.

:)

Glitter Glue

2007-08-31T18:20:00.001+08:00

School was cancelled (yay?) due to an unexpected power failure. Honestly I think someone snapped the cables - doesn't it sound too coincidental ? - but maybe I'm thinking too much. Oh well, the E1P2 was demoralising enough. I don't think I can take two consecutive blows.

I was about to type, "On the bright side," but there really isn't anything to be optimistic about. I dread prelims, ohmygod. I do want it to hurry come so I can get it over and done with.

Sigh. But what the teacher said was right... we're pitiful because once O's are over, we will feel odd cause there's nothing to do. Oh well, I suppose after O's I'll start on the JC syllabus. I was planning to brushing up on my (weak and almost insignificant) GK... I need it for GP/Econs. Sigh. But that's for later....

I'm tired. Got a headache. I wish there was a cure for it.

Svelte figure, dancing across the page
Upon white canvas it flies,
With grace
What do you write of, I wonder
Blood diamonds for a gentle reminder

***

The unspoken dies wrongfully
Upon your lips; Let them lie
For the silence is crisp and breaking
The fragile heart inside

Tell me lover,
How your heart went astray
Are we still the pretty picture
Of the forgotten yesterdays?

Heed her golden whim and silver fancy
Model material, the perfect being
If five-letter words could right the wrong
Then your four-lettered one doesn't belong

Blood Diamond

2007-08-30T21:53:00.000+08:00

Hey fella, pocket your love
Seal it in a blood diamond
And let me wear it 'round my neck
As a shiny, ruby reminder

Okay I don't mean to be mean BUT...

When did CJC become SO HARD TO GET IN!?

- End rant - Ohmygod. Totally didn't know, lah. Aiya. Now even CJC looks impossible. It's quite cool that they are going to make 10/9 y'know. :O It's like, they're improving so much. The only bad thing is they don't have strings, otherwise they'll be a good candidate.. (despite the colour of the uniforms ...)

Aiya, so sad. I think if they had nicer uniforms more people would want to go there. Maybe someone should raise this issue? (No offence, but you have no idea just how many people go to a JC because of the uniform. Uh, me - partly. *guilty*)

:)

I'm not feeling too happy but, it's ok. I think tomorrow's got me really scared :( And after that I think it's a gone case.

Shock

2007-08-29T21:26:00.000+08:00

PRELIMS. Oh my _______.

Now isn't the time to doubt ourselves anymore. It's the beginning of the end. My hands are quivering as I type this self-reassuring statement - but the question is, is it enough? I have the world outside this perimeter; all I need is to believe and leave it up to fate. But sometimes, don't we have to take things into our own hands? I'm conflicted. There's alot of things I regret now, but it's too late to say anything else.

I am afraid.

I need to have faith. I have it, just that it's waning.... or maybe it's still charging up.

Frenzy - My Unprecedented Worry

2007-08-28T18:38:00.000+08:00

I'm going to die for English I'm going to die for English. No wait, positive mindset. I'm going to do well for English I'm going to do well for English! I hope I won't screw up my paper 2. Everything goes downhill from there... always >(

Today's PPR was ... unmentionable.

I think alot of my classmates fell into depression, because alot of us got between the 10-20 range, when usually I know they attain 6 - 10 status. Hey guys, don't be depressed! We must work very hard for Prelims! :) We're 4purity remember :D Must stick in there for a while okay? :)

CHEERUPPPP. (Yes, cheer myself too!)

I think it's utterly hilarious that no one is actually doing one subject during a single period.

Okay see ah...

During SS, - AMath/Chem-
During Math - AMath/Chem-
During Phy - Phy (ONLY EXCEPTION)
During RT period - Bio, and more Bio
During Chinese - More Math. (E)

HAHA. I feel quite bad but, I'M SORRY we're all rushed for time. Do you call this (in)efficient multi-tasking?! :(

I'm incredibly scared for Prelims. Amath prelims is going to be damn difficult, and I failed the test(s). >( I'm incredibly angry, yes. I have to do something about myself... Though it's probably too late.

I really want to make it.

The Sympathy Symphony

2007-08-27T20:20:00.001+08:00

Science papers are henceforth (from today) - EVIL.

What the heckk biology was rather crap (okay, mainly cause I didn't study - intentionally), but I could do it! Provided I studied really, really hard.. Then again, biology was really, really crap.

Chemistry - Terms and 3.s.f always get the best of me :(
Physics - MCQ's improving ! Now at least get 5 and less wrong. Urghh I must aim higher! ><>
Biology - Very, very evil. Simply because you can't spot questions. GAH.

Oh, ya. I know it's kind of WEIRD to see someone making a layout (like a dedication, aptly put) for Olevels, but I think it's more like a - reminder - .. to myself ! So I can pressurize myself upon seeing it ! Yes, I'M STRESSED! No wait, that's a bad thing. But you get the point :D

Prelims are a total and complete nightmare. I want the 1 week hols NOW. :(

Pure Fiction

2007-08-26T19:32:00.000+08:00

I love you, I love you
Goes the lyrics on the radio
Sounds like a bad rewind,
Words of a coward,
Why say it isn't so.

Ticket, admit one please
For the bachelor to my heart
Have I told you lately
That you're my pretty paper cut?

"Hey! I'm not free right now, feel -"
In the mirror my mascara runs
The lipstick marks of a sordid affair
Stings,
The meter's up to one hundred,
- You've got 42 voice mails -
And you missed fifty-eight rings

"Do you know how to drive, you -"
Damp, wet, I smell copper
An angel crying, strangled sobs
It was nice to know you cared
Did the insurance pay off your debts?

And You Question 1,2,3,4,Why?

2007-08-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

It's ironic, and somehow laughable. Let us be insensitive, my fellow peers. Or should I say, camaraderie?

I simply don't understand. Now the key thing is whether I even want to try to comprehend the inner workings of others. Ignorance is bliss; simplicity is key - how many times have I heard this? (And positively gotten tired of doing so). Would it actually be better if everyone had a one-track mind, and you didn't think too much?

Sadly, I can't help it.

You have no idea what I see when I look at you. A million different faces of screwed human emotion. They say something about you will define your person, that'll make you unique. Are you? I think you're like a jigsaw plastered into one irregular mural of ______ ? I can't find the word to describe it/you. Why do you keep on saying you're so X when you're Y?! I don't get it. Must you obviously flaunt your skills on the internet?

You make me sick.

Hideous, is that the word to describe you? Are you trying to make your blend in when you can't? It's so obvious you're not something, and you try to not single yourself out by pretending you are. So, it's all about trendsetting (or should we say blinded followers)? Individuality; something you lack, and perhaps everyone of us finds foreign. Does it?

And when you're reading it, you'll say "I wonder who this is." Wake up and smell the coffee dear, you're the only one wearing coffee beans. You evoke many emotions - pity, anger and maybe frustration tops it all off. Seeing you is a nightmare; worst nightmare.

***

The fallen good stands in a line,
Tall, strong, broken.
Masks and drama sing off key,
And I am the forgotten.

I see myself in a mirror,
Torn, tattered, worn.
I see you as a reflection,
And I wished you were never born.

Emotional.

2007-08-24T20:34:00.003+08:00

People say,
You slit your wrists, you're off defend
You're not sound and the dog of trend
What's new to you and what of school
Do you like and comprehend?

And I say,
I'm sixteen, the underage
The not so fine, the crushed sweet
With troubles and sorrows before my time
I drink my troubles away
With water.

NJ OD

2007-08-24T20:34:00.001+08:00

Oh, it was fantastic.

It swayed me! Die lah. I mean, now I really really want to go NJC. I want to join the Astronomy Club, surely!

And I want this Subject Combination (regardless of the JC):

H2 Math (no choice ><) + 2H2 (Bio + Chem) + H2 KI (It's hard ><) + H1EN (AHHH!! MUST MUST).

Either this or the same subject combi, just with GP, lah.

:(

Oh yeah, and Bio I want to take H3 (Biotechnology and Nanotech - IBN). It's damn friggin cool. OHNOOOO I WANT TO JOIN SO MANY CLUBS LIKE THE UH, .. Astronomy, and maybe Gavel, MAYBE a science club!? OR GEOG!? :O TOO MANY CHOICES ><>

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm dying I'm dying!

I hope HCJC and RJC don't make an impact. Otherwise I'm gonna screw myself over options, and die :/

This Message is Personalized.

2007-08-21T19:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY SAM! :)

Yay, Sam (: Congrats on finally turning 16! <3 color="#000000" size="3">Look! Now you can try sneaking into M18 movies. AH-HA (: Aren't you excited, heehee. And no, I've never ever tried sneaking into an NC16 Movie (well at least I can't remember). Me = goooood. Okay. Just that I know I can't pass for 16. Surely kena ask for IC. Then I die........

I think you're legal for smth. I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT BUT, COOL! YOU'RE LEGAL! (FOR SMTH.)

You are officially a YOUNG ADULT. Tell me, how does it feel? Good hor, good hor. SAMMMMM I am still gonna buy you a you-know-what toy :) So cool. If cannot find, I will make.. and it will MO you for me. M.O.--OOo.

HAHAHA. today's post is only for SAMMY THE BUN POK MOO. I dunno why that came out, it just did.

HERE'S TO THE HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY OF YOUR LIFE (: Let us be cliched and say "may all your dreams come true, and do well for O'S!" You can do it Samm! (: I have faith in you :D Don't stress, don't stress! Let's grow gray hairs together.

HAHAHA, ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY,
SARAH the ( >) - Edited for possible pornographic content XD

Shut Up & Drive

2007-08-19T15:52:00.000+08:00

I don't know what we're working so hard for. Is it just me, or our futures horribly and too dependent on a slip of paper with results? I wish I born in Switzerland. It actually makes more sense to go to Vocational Institutes. Urgh. I've given up. Officially. I don't care anymore. You make it to Raffles? So what. Does this mean you're a better person? That your friggin smart?

Well then, shove all your crap up where the sun don't shine, cause it means a whole lot of nothing to me now.

What the hell.

***

D-AM13N --> Latest story. Having a lot fun creating the outline. I already did it for Book 1 & 2. I hope it turns out good, when I start to write the chapters. OOOOh.

***

Rules of the Game: Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.

I molest my classmates, because it's oh-so-fun. Haha.
My secret dream is actually to be an author. But because I can't really write well, and yada yada, it really is just a quiet aspiration. Oh, it's no longer secret, too.
My stories usually have the hot guy having gray-slated eyes. I'm very fond of this colour because I like fanfiction Draco Malfoy's, where his eyes are endless pools of molten silver, like an abyss where your soul can get lost in. Where you see the swirls of stormy grey fighting an internal war.... fighting against heightened desire, against what is right and wrong.... (Swoons.)
I like rainy days, because it's very gloomy and dark. Somehow I feel like an alter-ego of mine appears during the storm. It feels like a cold distinction from the warm reality where I like to escape to. Sigh.
I hate Teletubbies. Yuck. They are just so stupid and annoying. A complete waste of show time. The songs, give me headaches -_-

Can I stop here? I can't think.

***

Gorgeous. She was absolutely breathtaking.

Inhumanly beautiful, with pale alabaster skin that could rival my own. Translucent, and smooth. Almost like an albino. I made out the arch of her brow, the sharpness of her nose, the flush of cheeks, the fullness of those kissable lips...

Wonderful. With my eyes, I traced the contours of her neck, and her womanly curves that had the entire male population salivating. I ignored the rude whispers - the jeering amongst the inner circles - and continued to allow myself to scrutinize every fibre of her body. Every inch of her perfection.

She was tall and slender, her figure willowly and frail. She looked breakable, so fragile - I could accidentally crush her, break her. Kill her. The way she moved was so graceful, like a ballerina, and so sinuous, the girls in the room must have felt secondary. Yet she paid no heed to the numerous pairs of eyes following her every move. It was as if it was completely natural.

Was it?

Now, her friends gathered around her. It was like the queen bee surrounded by her drones. She laughed - music to my ears - and smiled, revealing a perfect set of pearly whites. It looked so artificial. So beautiful. My throat, baked and dessicated, burned with a thirst that needed to be quenched. The monster within me awoke, and there was a need that demanded to be filled.

I would get her, alone.

I could imagine her fear - it was thrilling, exhilarating - so close, I could taste it on the tip of my tongue. The venom was on overdrive, and a voice gunned me on. I listened. I waited, patiently, for her flock of paparazzi to leave her. She bade them goodbye, for the last time. A smirk spread across my lips, I got up and followed the trail of her scent.

Heavenly. It was sinful, it was her. My veins pulsed, knowing it was close. So close. And her human instinct kicked in, I suppose. She paused, and turned around.

No one. Silly human girl.

She continued walking, picking up speed. This was easily matched, however, and after a while she began to relax. Her pace slowed, and I heard her let out an audible gasp. I licked my lips, staring at the nape of her exposed neck. Staring at her jugular vein, pulsing with life.

Life that would end, very soon.

I couldn't hold myself back. It was too irresistible to deny myself the pleasure of a fresh victim. Guilt had long worn away. I came to accept myself, the monster for what I truly was. I wouldn't even let her scream. It would be quick, I thought, as my fangs sharpened, and her sweet scent clouding my senses.

Within a millisecond, I had her in my embrace, wrenching her arms painfully as I enjoyed her warmth. As I basked in her fear, I listened to her wails, her screams, her cries. I let her. No one was near, anyway. Useless. I kissed the spot on her neck, and I saw her pupils dilate, a sob escaping her throat.

"Goodbye," I whispered, sinking my fangs into warm, inviting flesh.

I love Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

2007-08-14T19:32:00.000+08:00

TAN LIYI PAY ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING. Miss so many days of school. Smth to help <3

Sarah's Unofficial Guide-to-Oral

1. Reading.

Pronounce your words properly. What's important : 'This', 'There', 'That'. Basic "Th" sounding words. Must have the "th" sound!
Pronounce the ending letter. studentS (ssss) , evenT (ter!). Extremely crucial.
Vary your reading speed. Don't read too quickly, or you will end up mumbling. Don't read too slowly too - it all depends on the passage. If it's an exciting segment, don't read it slowly. DON'T BORE THE EXAMINER.
Vary your TONE. Please, just throw your dignity away for that 15 minutes. Speak with emotion, with feeling. Watch out for dialogue, it's the perfect way to show off your variation of tone. Happy/sad/inquiry/embarrassment.
Pause at the RIGHT part of the sentence. It's quite hard to correct this one. Just read it to yourself. It should sound smooth, and not 'broken'.

2. Picture

Don't let the examiner have a chance to talk. Once they launch the opening sentence, just keep on talking and talking and talking. Shut them up. AWE THEM. Tell them with your amazing abilities that you're simply fantastic. And A1-worthy! <3
Go in a specific order. It makes things easier. And you can tick each category off your mental checklist :)

Answer the Question. Support.
Background. What is the event? Support.
Who are the people? What are they doing? Why? Support.
Feelings. What's the general atmosphere? Pinpoint various characters, (like in 3, after the general public assessment) and say what you THINK they feel. WHY?
Emotions. Uh, that's the same as 4.......
Bring in OTHER factors. Other people or objects. This widens the range you cover in the picture, and saves the examiner from asking, "What do you think the man on the far left is thinking?"
State, why the photograph was taken. Publicity? Memento? It's usually these two, just that you have to rephrase :)

3. Conversation

You have two topics. The Personal & Society Questions.
Try to be inventive. Examiners do enjoy creativity, and they don't want to hear answers that are repeated very often by examinees. Be unique! (But if you can't help it, nevermind.)
Animation. Examiners do look at your willingness to partake in a conversation. Yes it gives them a good impression of you.
Speak in clear, accurate English. No Singlish (HELL NO.) Inject humour, if possible. Er, not crude humour, obviously.
Try not to let them talk! (Again). Yes, it's going to be very difficult because it's so sudden and you probably can't think beyond your answer for their question. You're going to have to do it, however. You already did it once for Prelims. Here's er, how. Somewhat :)

When you get a Personal Question........

Answer the question.
Talk about the event, or hobby, whatever.
Say what YOU enjoyed it, what you like about it. (Relate it to you)
Be very detailed. Basically, just answer the Q AND relate whether you liked it or whatever. It's okay if they issue a second prompt. If you answer the other two well, it will be fine.
Of course, with the second prompt, don't go umm-ing. Answer smoothly :) Smile and perform miracles <3

When you get a Society Question..........

Answer the question.
Talk BRIEFLY ABOUT IT. And be accurate about your points. DON'T drag it on, because usually the case is the PROMPTS are NOT about the QUESTION alone. They will ask about what YOU think about it, what SHOULD BE DONE, any FUTURE PURPOSES etc. That is the purpose of the prompts of a S.Q.
Think Society POV, think YOUR POV. You HAVE to use a SOCIETY POV somewhere in there. Think of the BENEFITS, is it DETRIMENTAL to society, AND WHY.
YOUR POV - Why do you feel this way? Why do you like it? Do you support it? Yes - Why? No, Why? Can it be improved (to you)?
Personal Exp? Wonderful if you can sneak it in.
Conclude (: If it's a do you support or not, take a stand.

YAY! That concludes the Sarah-Oral-Guide. HAHAHAHA. I know I'm lame, but I think it helps me lots! Hope it helps those who read too.

Replay Button

2007-08-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

You make me feel out of my element,
Like I'm walking on broken glass
Like my world's spinning in slow motion
And you're moving too fast

Songhooked - And that's not even a word. Stupid Limited Vocab Disease (LVD - something Liyi/I coined because of a certain classmate. I shall not name her. You know, legal measures and everything.) I caught the bug and now it's never gonna leave ! :( Yes I'm depressed.

I'm not depressed. I'm, alright. I don't know. It was:

O level Chinese results day.

Haiya. Didn't do well at all. I wasn't especially sad (wasn't planning to use Chinese anyway), but ya, I don't want to get this kind of grade for any other subject. It's going to be damn depressing. A little mellow, but oh well kind of thing. I suppose I'll ignore the sickening twist of my intestines. Urgh.

Meanwhile, I really hated the scene today when the results were released. It was super uncomfortable. I don't like being in such situations, because it's so tense that it just might kill you. People were crying (No, I don't hate them or anything. I'm stating. Read on.) and it was so sad to see them sobbing (really bad.) Then alot of people started crying. Then people who did well were the "I am happy, but I can't express my joy now, not when my classmate's depressed".

It was just, chaotic. And upsetting.

See, I hate results-releasing day. Oh juggerwhatever.

Me: Let's just go AJ la. You know, it's so near, and I can sleep later.
People: Ya lor. We should.
Me: Yeah. Just don't go to CJC or anything. No offence yeah, but I dislike CJC.
People: Ya. And none taken.
Another Person: HCJC and RJC should just move to Jurong Island la. Bring with them all their affiliates and stuff. Like go away!
Me: Ya. What's the point. Limited places, so prestigious hor. Keep to themselves la. Don't stress the students from other schools. Edu system is so, terribly unfair.
(Everyone: Ya.)

***

Someone: Why (to Me) don't you want to go VJ?
Me: Too far, I guess. Not convienient. If I can make it there, I don't mind.
Someone: NJ?
Me: I never really considered. But, same theory goes.
Someone: Whatever happened to HCJC?
Me: Oh, I can't survive in a mugger environment. Not a mugger you know. (Peeved look.) And how does Deb put it? Cynical environment. I don't agree completely. But it's more than 50% accurate.
Someone: RJC?
Me: Uh, what? Right, like there's any chance. It's almost .. "Closed off to outsiders".
Someone: AC?
Me: Eh, I was considering you know! AC's not bad. I won't take the IB program. Not interested in a Dip, and frankly, I wanna go to U. But not sure leh. AIYAAAAA.

***

Classmate: Did you hear? Abt. the merging of the Special/Express streams??
Me: WHAT? Okay, I didn't. Omg. -.- (Listens to the intent content of the plan.)
ClassmateS: Well I suppose it's better. You know, now that you can actually CHOOSE whether you want to take it or not.
Another person: HCL is relatively useless. Given the choice, I wouldn't want to take it. What's the point. Waste four hours... (rattles on..)
(Thought from another: I thought it was kinda useful...)
Another person(again): A week. Might as well use it for something else. Urgh. Chinese is. URGH!!
Me: At least they have a choice. But what's the point. Everyone will surely take it, unless they are so confident about English, la. Or whatever, otherwise.
- Rebuttal -
Me: It's true what! See, if you want to get into RJ or HC - THE TOP - you need the four bonus points. What other easier way to earn it than the HCL one? Aiya this is so unfair. Whatever. 2 extra bonus STUPID points makes a whole lot of difference. If you see me in a JC you didn't think I was going to, you'd know why, now.
(Mumur of discontent? Agreement. Probably the latter).

***

Oh, I hate our EDU system. I don't need it to be perfect, but it's complete imperfection.

Eclipse

2007-08-12T12:19:00.000+08:00

The following is in Capital Letters due to unrestrained excitement. If it hurts your eyes, do not proceed. Thank you. I will not be held responsible if you have any seizures.

---

OH MY GOD OH MY EFFIN GOSH STEPHENIE MEYER IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST AUTHOR ON THE ENTIRE FACE OF THE EARTH. HER VAMPIRE/WEREWOLF BOOK BEATS HARRY POTTER 7TH BOOK FLAT ON THE FLOOR OKAY OMG OMG I LOVE YOU STEPHENIE MEYER, FOR BRINGING THE ABSOLUTE BEST FICTION STORY INTO MY LIFE!!!!!!!! PRAISE FOR YOU! <3>< size="5">ECLIPSE, THE THIRD INSTALLMENT OF THE TWILIGHT SERIES!!

Burnt Out

2007-08-11T09:59:00.000+08:00

Hey mister on the one-way street,
Won't you stop and charm me?
Or are you too busy collecting bones
For your afterlife?

Urgh. Prelims are underway. I wish the holidays would never end.

On the other hand, I miss my friends.

Hurr.

Pretty Exotic

2007-08-06T19:59:00.000+08:00

Bio Phy Bio Phy Bio Phy! ><

Madness.

I used to know a girl
More than by her name
She was, well I can't say it
But let's just call her Betty

Betty was more than talk
Oh she lived more than to please
The boys fell over her like
Dominoes
And the girls would whisper
Rude or otherwise
But she's so beautiful on the inside

Days and months, close to years
The good have gone their ways
And once upon a million's chance
I met Betty at the coffee place

She stands before me with a
Body of twenty one,
But to me she's grown
More than a century
And I ask but she lies
Oh girl I can see it in your eyes

C: And you try, and you try
Why keep it bottled up inside?
You, ask if he's a daddy,
If he's got a family
You, ask for their stories,
If she's gotten married
Well I'll answer every single one
And, when I'm finally done,
As the moon packs up the sun,
And all that seems an end,
Is a beginning girl,
Cause in me, you've always got a friend

Tissues for tears, and coffee at 2.a.m
A little unconventional, a half-open can
I'll find your every spirit shard
Glue it back into place
So you'll walk out of here brand new
Walk out of here, beautiful

C: -
Repeat~

HBL

2007-08-05T21:13:00.001+08:00

It's Monday dear god it's SCHOOL :( NO, I WANT TO PON!!

I HATE RELATIVE VELOCITY WITH A BURNING PASSION!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2007-08-02T16:57:00.000+08:00

There were many things I wanted to be.

At 5, I was certain I wanted to be a cartoonist. What could be more fun than drawing funny cartoons you could laugh at all day long? Fantasic job, ain't it?

And then, I changed my mind.

At 8, I wanted to be a poet. Then I realised I wasn't good enough, and frankly wouldn't earn much money. Oh, yes, I grew materialistic too. Hmm.

So,

At 9, I wanted to be a forensic scientist, cause CSI was so, coool. (I think I was 9.) It looked like so much fun, and I always liked cracking/solving murders + mysteries. Then I realised... much later on, that being a CSI isn't a really glamourous job. I'm NOT climbing into sewers, and I don't wish to see dead bodies (multilated ones that is.).

Thus :

At 14, I wanted to be a fashion editor (writer?). It was fun to deal with something you like - me : shopping, doh - and it was most interesting, wasn't it :D :D Okay but it just wouldn't work out.

And now I'm 16, unclear about anything. Hur.

Tick-tock, watch the clock

2007-08-01T19:48:00.000+08:00

Please don't label me/us. We're not an alien race, you know. It appears to me as if people go, "What?? You actually said it was hard?!" Shock, disbelieving expressions thus ensue. Sigh. When are some people ever going to get that there is nothing to the term "EC" and we people are not freaks if we say the paper was hard. Because truth be told, that math paper ? Was freaking hard. In fact, we couldn't do alot of questions. Sad, but true.

Actually now it's getting rather out of hand. Eh we're not supernatural people you know. I dislike it when people go, "You know how to do this right/Aiya, you can one la! I'm the one who needs to worry.. / Sure 6 pointer la, SURE one" and get even more ticked off with the cliched follow-up: "Because you're in EC". I almost want to blame the teachers for inventing EC. Hello hello hello have you ever thought that I can fail my tests. I do fail Math and I DO fail Physics. I DO not always score A1 for Chem. I am a normal kid.

So please don't label me a 6pointer, when I am most certainly not. My english comprehension is so horrid, my english teacher has pointed it OUT MOST UNKINDLY, and my summary is on the failing end. Yes you see, I'm as much of a failure as I am, a success. Which I am not. (again).

I think people will never understand unless they actually sit in our class for a week and see how things go. We, actually, slack.

SHOCKING ISN'T IT??!?!?!

Yes, now you get the point. Scram.

---

On to, happier, brighter things:

Biology Stayback- Omg, it was damn fun. Mrs Tan allowed the class to slack! (Yay) And so we (happily) zoomed off to the lab and went to observe fungi under the microscope. We caught waterworms (I call them that. For obvious reasons.) and found out disturbing, and gross facts about them. Ew. Thank you for the nice, slacky, lesson. ARIGATOU :D I love it when she's in a good mood :) No, EXCEPTIONALLY good mood.

English Oral - Surprise, surprise ! The Hot Seat was WAY, TRES, intimidating. Miss Jeya would call us up one by one by one by one by one and tell us comments on our oral. Shit, scary. I was trying to concentrate and ended up failing to do so. It was so unnerving. ESP. when the entire class can hear your comments!?!?! Omgomgomg. I did, okay, la. Dunno the marks yet so cannot really say anything. But let's, um, pray for the best.

LOVE <3 TATA. SS CALLS.

O LEVEL (Frenzzzzy)

2007-07-30T18:58:00.000+08:00

TO WAR WITH O LEVELS!!!!

I will emerge champion.

IN YOUR FACE O'S ! I WILL TRIUMPH SO AS TO WATCH POKEMON!
YAAAAAAAY!

HA-HA HA!

Sarah's (In)Complete list of things to do after O's:

Watch pokemon.
Play pokemon - EVERY SINGLE COLOUR !
Maple. Even though it's so wayyyyy old.
Neopets.
Read books.
Read more books on economics! World Issues YAY
Take classes on my secret activity ! Yay can't wait!
Go out.
Shop.
Shop more.
Watch movies.
Watch DRAMAS @ home <3
Play computer.
Live on the computer.
BREATHE COMPUTER!!!!! I AM A BYTE.
Sleep till noon.
CHEER, for lack of no holiday homework. Omigod yay.
Crash CCA pracs :D :D
GO JAPAN AND HAVE A HECK OF A TIME.
GO ?/!?!? WITH CLASS, HAVE ANOTHER HECK OF A TIME!!!
BUY STUFF FOR JC.
BUY MOREEEEEEEE !
SAVE !!!!!!!
WORRY !
WORRY MORE!
Okay this is lame... Um. WRITE MORE POETRY - AH-HA!
Make a To-do list for JC onwards.

I stop @ 27, because it's the nicest number in the universe.

Oh yeah, can't wait.

Be your girl, The Grape and the Fruitcake

2007-07-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

The salt in my coffee,
Tastes like my tears
"Tear here" on my sugar packet
The malt in a million beers

You don't understand, how it is to be me. Although that's what every single selfish politician in the history of the universe has said in the beginning of his or her autobiography book. But it's agonizingly true. I retype and type the words I am dying for you to hear. You killed me. You threw me into a despair I never knew imaginable, never thought it'd be me who would live a duo personality. You ruined me.

It's so funny, so heartbreakingly sorrowful, how pathetic I am. How I let a figure tarnish all that I'm good for, and you sit there, mocking everything I once stood for. Do you smile for your triumph over someone you broke ? I know you do. You're conceited and caring, deceitful and daring; everything a good mastermind needs to become a criminal genius. You are truly wonderful, in your hideous shell.

Laughable. Do you understand how cold I am now? Hate, vengeance, brutality, slavery, loss of dignity. Have you any idea what torment you've put me through!? It's hell, it's a hell in the human realm itself.

I don't want to take it.
I don't want to live and hear them say it,
it's whispers of my mistake,
Naviety,
Lesser intelligence.

You ruined me.

You ruined, me.

This is looking psychotic. It's not.

It's the truth.

I can't grasp your conscience, since you don't have any. I feel dirty, and soiled. Like a rape victim. I almost know how that feels.

I can almost feel it again.

It's like a Ming vase that can't be repaired.

$Infinity, please.

Spiderpig, Spiderpig! :D

2007-07-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

"How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?" .. Marge...

"Spiderpig, spiderpig! -sings-" -> Homer..

I swear Simpsons is the funniest and the best family drama/cartoon ever ever ever. Well Pokemon is great but that's anime. I love Simpsons. Homer is so stupidly retarded and hilarious. The Boob Woman AHHAAHAH. Okay have a good time watching folks :)

Physics Test:
I can't believe the MCQ was so ... tricky. Argh. Overall, I managed to answer everything - and what's up with almost EVERY QUESTION BEING ON RADIATION!? - but I can't gurantee accuracy :( Later come back with horrid results again. And evil Imran will say, "Sarah.. Tan!" >( Hello, why must you always say my surname?! ACK! :(

---

I sing for questionable motives,
Your secrecy, intimacy
And all the catches in between,
I don't deny your lies
I don't comprehend your alibis

---

A step of two and a doubt of three,
My joy is dead, oh woe is me
For the flower that bloomed in all adversity
Now withers in glamour, blessed treachery

& I thought her, as chaste as the unsunned snow

2007-07-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

I immensely dislike Physics :( I hate youuuuuu Newton, you and all your laws of Forces. I don't like any of you - Faraday (Go away, to a land Far-arrw-way) you too >( Why did you have to make my life so difficult?! Moans. I hate you I hate you I hate you. Physics was nice till you ruined it all for us.

Sob.

On a brighter note, I'm watching the Simpson's Movie tomorrow ! :D Yesss! HAHAH the trailer was so damn funny...

"I was elected to LEAD, not READ."

(Skimming through the Bible) - "This book doesn't have any answers!!"

HAHAHAHAAHAH OMG :D An Irritating Truth (play on: An Inconvenient Truth - documentary). Damn funny. Want to watch yay yay yay!

We, the feline catastrophe
Grace the Earth with
All things pretty, mesmerizing beauty
And we'd leave the petty men
Standing in our wake

Feminine, illustrious wonder
We're the gender's constant ponder
Magnifique, gorgeous, no?
Turn on the pheromones
And you can't say no to anything

Dips and curves, smooth like silk
Just look, don't you ever touch
This is the closest you'll ever get
To perfection.
We are, perfection.

Petty human souls, ugly no doubt
But be discreet!
They descended from we the finery,
We, the great !
Yes, truly we are the women of the world.

Oral is Over

2007-07-25T19:37:00.000+08:00

I hereby declare: IT'S OVER ! :D

Okay la. It was half-screwed. My reading - MOANS! How could I pronouce GENRE wrongly I LIKE THAT WORD. SARAH, IF YOU DON'T GET DISTINCTION FOR THIS ORAL SMACK YOURSELF. HOW COULD YOU PRONOUNCE GENRE WRONGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Besides that >(, Picture was surprisingly okay (because it was a 'nice' pic!! :D:D) and the convo was OKAY too (BLESS THE SOCIETY Q.)! :D

Stupid reading.

Eh. I seriously hope the teacher doesn't betray her smile. Don't smile smile and give me B3/A2 hor. PLEASE. >.< ?? She smiled alot. Too much. Moans.

***

Lady in the water,
Where is the man on your arm?
Hath he lost inside the ripples
And waves of your beauty?

Arrogance, Dazzling
Alluring, Tempting
Benevolence, Sincerity
I think I've fallen,
Into a mystery

Goddess of the moon,
Where is the man by your side?
Hath he lost within the galaxy
And constellations of your eyes?

Oh I couldn't, but I shall -
Your fiery temper, icy touch
Vampire teeth and cosmic blush
You couldn't hurt me anymore

I love this vixen,
Intoxicating siren
If it's her breath, they willingly bow
Oh Man you creature, you're so foul

Woman, pose and grace
To man of none and ill faith
Are like swans to toads and
Caviar to oats

Too good for them all.

A Tribute to Ernie the Lab Frog

2007-07-24T20:03:00.000+08:00

Who stole my sunshine,
Out of my clear box of blue?
Don't leave me with grey skies
And a fireplace full of soot.

I'M SORRY ERNIE REALLY ABSOLUTELY 100% SORRY! :( I swear you will go to Toilet/Trashcan/Incinerator Heaven for your next 100000000 lives. The teacher, ______, said you were dead. So it was okay, I suppose, to kind of rip/cut your insides out. Okay it wasn't me who did it but I still am responsible since I cheered them on :(

My list of apologies:

For taking out all your fats.
Pulling out your large intestine.
Pulling out the small intestine.
Ripping/Cutting/Slicing/Defacing your liver.
Poking your stomach. And also for other groups, for ripping your stomach open.
Slicing your skin and arteries, veins, connective tissues. And muscles.
Tearing apart your bones.
Ripping into shreds your diaphargm.
Ripping out your gallbladder, then bursting it so bile would come out.
Poking your spinal cord.
Attempting to force open your mouth.
Detaching your heart** from the sides.
Removing your lungs.
Cutting every organ out.
(On behalf of another group): Taking out the ovaries and ripping the urinary bladder (ew.) ><

** THE HEART WAS FRIGGIN BEATING. WHAT THE HELL!?? I THINK(?!?!) IT WAS A REFLEX ACTION BUT IT WAS SO. AH. PITIFUL!??!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ><

So Ernie, I'M SORRY !!!!

***

I'm going to fail my Oral tomorrow.

***

I've got a pocket full of sunshine,
And in the other a cloudy day
Come forth heavens and shower them rain
Soak me in good old yesterdays

I like tattoos that say I love you,
They won't ever change their mind
I wish I could be like them too
Leave everything of the past behind.

Dance with a prince, crown and cuffs
Hand, dangerously low on the back.

Dare you go lower?

Look in her eyes, won't you take a risk?
Whoever said the prince couldn't love the pauper?

Frogs @ $2.60

2007-07-23T16:40:00.000+08:00

Pity, I paid 2.60 just to dissect a frog. Um, I'm sorry frog. I don't really want to kill you, but in the name of science, indeed, I shall. I'm sorry. I promise you'll go to toilet heaven.. wherever that is :) And you can be with your other froggy soul mates who will (perish) with you :D

I shall call my undead, soon-to-be-dead, frog: Ernie. It just rang a bell.

Hail Ernie! :) The greatest lab frog ever.

We're the great divide, in which now our land has spilt into seven different continental classrooms. Merci for nothing, I can't believe we've walked around the globe, trekking through +/- 10mm contours just for us to spilt up and fall apart. Apart.

It just ain't worth it, is it?

Btw, I hate biotechnology. I hate biology with a passion, just like how Rob Paranovian hates Pachelbel's Canon in D. x) Prelims are around the corner (smile; YES!), O levels are down the street (YES!!!), and JAPAN IS THE NEXT JUNCTION OMG OMG OMG !! <3

I don't understand why the lost wanderer defied the meaning, "lost", and came back home :( After all, it was said that he....... got lost. LOST.

I play jokes, I tell riddles
Got thousands up my sleeve
I'm the pumpkin on Halloween
And the nightmare on Christmas Eve!

I like to sing and play and dance,
I'll be cackling through the night
Won't you be my rag doll
And let me kill you tonight?

I love it when you run and hide,
Thrill me, entertain me, you do
But won't you ever comprehend
I'll soon be murdering you?

I think you're pretty ugly, pretty silly
To be alone at this hour
Have you friends cast you off
Cause Little Miss Perfect went sour?

Oh don't cry, don't you ever cry
It marrs your lovely pink face
I like my victims clean and polished
And gone without a trace!

Why do you fling a knife at me,
Oh why do you even try?
You're helpless, worthless - scum,
It's better if you die !

I love you, I love you oh so much,
False lies to calm your naive soul
Who asked you to believe a dead
And completely insensitive ghoul?

<3

Candy Cane's Number One

2007-07-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

Cherry apple, raspberry pickle
All the candy you can eat
One for a dime, three for a dollar
Don't miss out on our candied treats!

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand
Small, big, long, narrow, short and wide
Juicy, yummy, chewy, gummy
Hard and soft on the inside

Here comes Little miss Veronika,
Cashmere, satin, silk and fleece
Polka dotted teddy bear and
She's the county mayor's niece

Oh little Miss Veronika, how
Will you spend your riches today?
On chocolates, pops, peppermints
Oh what will your dentist say?

I should warn you little missy
Don't buy more than you can chew
Now we don't want any more cavities
Or any more complaints from you!

A million kids and maybe more
Spend a fraction of what you may
Veronika has lined her pockets
With gold others make in a day!

Oh Veronika, you sweet lil' thing
When will you ever learn?
Tis' bad to keep on eating sweets
Don't play with fire until you're burned

You're Candy Cane's Number One,
We love you oh yes we do!
Be it Christmas, New Years or Halloween,
We'll gladly open our doors for you!

Trickery, mischief, devil-may-care
Oh you're the little ball of evil itself
How could such a young sweet thing
Be evil when she's as small as an elf?

Oh Veronika, the sun sets low
Won't you be going now?
We've got to bid our humble goodbyes
Away you go you little cow

We hate Veronika, oh yes we do
Humbly, silently with glee
The only reason we put up with her
Is so she'll go on a shopping spree!

:D

THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

2007-07-22T11:26:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION BELOW ARE THE SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER 7TH BOOK SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ DON'T HIGHLIGHT OVER THE WORDS (THAT ARE WHITE IN COLOUR) OKAY? I WILL NOT BE BLAMED IF YOU GIVE INTO TEMPTATION! :D

Omg. Though I'm a day of posting - I just HAVE to post. Truly, the 7th book was wonderful! Okay she killed off quite a number of people.. Not exactly really happy about it, but hey who am I to have a say? It was REALLY good, appropriate ending. A few surprises here and there.

Okay she killed: Hedwig (HOW COULD SHE?), Mad-eye Moody, Dobby (SOB), Fred Weasley (SOB!!!!!), Snape (Sob only after I realised he was a good guy), and LUPIN? (I didnt see that.) .That's about it. Uh still got la but can't rmb.

Dumbledore: So, incredibly, fascinating. So it turns out Dumbledore didn't have a.. what you would say.. a perfect childhood that would christen him the respect people gave him over the years. It was saddening (Ariana, erm his brother Aderforth or smth) that he had such a rough childhood and mmm, well the "dark" parts were just weird. But all in all he's a really good guy. Has really good foresight - he orchestraed SO many things, including his own death. Utterly brilliant, and fantastically noble and clever (the way he hinted to the 3 of them). He's a really great character. His death was...... a part of it all. But he's in bliss so yay ! :)

Severus Snape: I'm so sorry to have ever called him a bastard cause he's so, so, giving. I can't believe he was such a good man (shocking, isn't it?) . Driven by the love for the woman called Lily Evans, he was on the good side all along (aww!!). Stupid Voldy had to kill him to gain ownership of the Elder Wand (Oi you stupid guy he was never owner. You lousy evil piece of crap) and okay his death was so gruesome. I think. I mean when Harry went to see him he was like BLEEDING his pensieve memories from all his orifices?! Talk about gross. Yet I feel a pang of sadness for the man. Like he's always been taunted and never loved... Sigh. Sad end for him. But he was a good guy, yay ! :D

Voldy: I hate you. End of story.

Weasley Twins: WHYYYYYYYY DID SHE WRITE THIS ABT YOU!!!!!!! Oh George, you lost an ear - but it's okay you lived. HOW COULD SHE KILL FRED WEASLEY THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUNNY DUO AND SHE KILLED HIM WITH "HIS LAST LAUGH STILL ETCHED ON HIS FACE" UNTIMELY END SAD BEYOND FORGIVENESS I MOURN THIS, THIS FUNERAL PROCESSION OF THIS GREAT AND FUNNY AND CRAZY CHARACTER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M DEPRESSED!! FREEEEEEEEEEEEED ><

Harry Potter: All's well that ends well. Harhar Harry was a Horcrux (durh.) but he LIVED ! :) Nice twist, and well I'm glad he ended up with Ginny. Though I have to give him alot of credit - for a teenager so filled with angst and rage, he sure has a quick-witted mind. Really quite clever (not as clever as Hermione but essentially brilliant when it comes to cracking clues/mysteries) so I'm astonished about that. Nevertheless... nothing much to say about the Boy who Lived :) Erm, what. Great job? HAHA.

Ronald Weasley: I LIKE HIM, I think he's a cool loser. HAHAHA. Damn funny. Though you really SHOULDN'T have abandoned them in the forest.

Hermione Granger: I love your smarts. Then again, how could we not! Stupid Bellatrix, she tortured you! Yet you survived. YAY :)

Draco Malfoy: What am I going to say about this stupid character. Oh yes. HELLO IT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO BE EXPOSED AS A WEAK BOY WHO NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF PLEDGING ALLEGIENCE TO SOME CRAZED BOZO WITH RED SLITS AS EYES!?! YOU FOOL, STUPID BUFFOON! -_- But yes, you were great to have switched sides (WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG.) to help Harry. HEY, I was really shocked that you were the true owner of the Elder Wand. But it didnt count. ANYWAY Harry disarmed you -HAH. Loser capitalised, L. :)

Bellatrix Lestrange: I really hate you. You KILLED Sirius. NEVER TO BE FORGIVEN.

Umbridge: EW. Okay FIRST OF ALL, pink makes her look worse. She's MENTALLY unstable, with all her dumb bloodsucking quills and her HEINOUS ATTITUDE (OH IT HURTS!!!!). She has SO MANY RULES it's so revolting. I HATE YOU A LOT TOO :)

Dobby: Poor fella, worshipper of Harry Potty, and died saving him (and friends.) A TRUE FRIEND, I LOVE DOBBY THE ELF ! *ELF FAN*.

Lupin: WHEN DID YOU DIE? Shock. Untimely death. Just married Tonks and had a child. Sad :(

ALL IN ALL I'M SUCH A AVID FAN OF HP!

Horcruxes: Whom to Die, Who?

2007-07-21T20:02:00.000+08:00

Handwriting, slants and curves of U & Is
Written in shreds of silver, tin and gold
Velvet, the voice ghastly whispering
Fingers of five, on the shoulder's cold

I miss your every breath of written word,
A warmth a fire on winter's eve,
Trail of broken clues upon your wake
Oblivion to those who don't believe

Memory, the odds and ends of time
Resides within the sanity that n'ver forgets
Nostalgia, the twinkle in your eyes,
Accompanies the sail of a thousand regrets

I love the jaunty step in your stride,
Ghosting the hallways of a second home
Grief, once said that those left behind
Loved ones - are never truly alone

Faith, ye old wonder yields strong, undying
Lives in hearts' holders with wife, Hope
Yet clouds of doubt overcast the mind's eye
Did I know you, dead knots on a rope?

I know your voice, echoing in seashells
Like the calm of the breaks in sea
They christened you liar, tarnished your name
Yet your horcrux of love lies in me

Death, is a fool's trick that cowards fear
The brave, quails not under the end
Through the stars I'll pass my love
For I truly believe you're heaven sent

A TRIBUTE TO HARRY POTTER :D CAUSE IT'S JUST SO DARN GOOD!

Amazing Grace, The Way You Walk

2007-07-20T23:03:00.000+08:00

Is it all but a lovely dream,
Patented and sold for gold?
Is it all but what it seems,
Or differs from what's told?

I asked the cobber down the lane,
The day, and he replied the time
He was the loner who had no name
Living in the street of no sign

A line of a smile, the twist in a frown
I'd say, it's the loving in her eyes
The shape of her breasts, curve of her thighs
Lovers can't tell, tis truths or lies

Sparks from the sidelines, henchmen, flew
Hands, unworthy, run down the sides
She's biting her lips for blood, stop the tears
In the darkness her dignity hides

Oh the unforgiving, feels so cold and bare
Dirty whispers upon her skin, stings
He's weeping morals on her cheeks, her sorrow
Drowns her within recesses of everything

Has it been two years, has it been three?
Her locks are gone, drawn a lackluster smile
It's been a million, yet there's none in me
Over a coffee, she says it's been a while

A while, an instant, a moment - what's now,
Swirls of black, her heart twists in tales
It might take a minute, an hour - forever,
Weather your storm, all windy gales

No rope could love her, no knife could leak red,
It's closer, the nearer, and almost there
Haunts her, the putrid and alcoholic said,
Paranoia, the feeling he's everywhere

Don't bring home the man who told you,
I love you, and the sweet treats up his sleeve
Look in the mirror and love one, not two
Grant nevermore his reprieve

Wine to the lips is like my ocean to shore,
Across lights, music and lust I watch and see
She flirt, she talks, and her hand up his fore
Beeline to the exit, undercover you'll be

At 6 a.m, you're back to decorum, to meek
What was yesterday, what of the lies you preach?
Your soul, bare, empty, holds none they seek
So admit now, ticket, you've always been weak

Like I love you, once upon a time
I loved you, like a dollar to a dime
I've never, had a failure in a find
You're the first, lover left behind.

Tonight, my moon's heartbroken

2007-07-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

My salad days, where I lacked judgement, and cold was blood.

***

Sour, the sting of midautumn's air
As clouds bring forth musky rain
Feet, treading over cracks and stones
As we're back to one again

Bitter, the wrench of my wasted heart
As screams die away in their tombs
Hands, feeling every acre and inch
As overhead storybook danger looms

Sweet, the sorrow of a second's grudge
As words simmer in tragic's end,
Eyes, seeing deafened human fears
As the shadow pines for the friend

Tears, the pearls of a devil's demise
As truths become scapegoats for lies
Lips, source of soundless debacles,
As the angel upon the sill cries.

- Sarah.

Lions are all simply, propaganda

2007-07-19T20:14:00.000+08:00

8.16: I'm on a break from studying. Urgh. I haven't even started on QA yet :( I'm leaving it for tomorrow cause there isn't anymore time ! SS blasted itself to tomorrow (right in the morning - how very unfortunate, yes?), and I'm highly disappointed that I probably can't keep to the closed-book self-promise to the open-book test on Geog :( I don't want to refer but I really have no time.

Everything's getting on my nerves.

I guess they have long waned, and grown far too thin. It's really unfair, sometimes. I don't understand why some people can be so much more _____, and yet when it boils down to that instant they always ________! It's really so infuriating. It's not fair at all (sigh: who said life was ever fair...) I'm so mad. I deserve it so much more, ack. Okay selfish side taking over. Ceasing rant..... now.

Okay I can't help it; Breaks out into worrywartyposty. (and rants.)

Firstly, :( .

Shoosh. How am I to begin this - right, my patience and tolerance is really wearing so threateningly thin that I should wear a sign around my neck saying, "Watch out: Will explode @ any moment". I don't understand why almost every person is starting to bug me now. I can't help but grow in annoyance and the resistance is wearing off so I might end up slapping one of those annoying few. I've already exploded in front of one but she's probably too wrapped up in her supposed daydream/ego that she can't tell. She wasn't really observant to begin with so, no comments.

>( I am seriously seriously angry !!! I don't think I can study with this kind of attitude. Bless me. The more I look at it, it kind of irks me that what's old is never better than what's new. I can't believe BOTH are annoying me now. This is getting ridiculously stupid.

One, I don't know. We hang like --____-- so I don't really see any point in remaining --. Not that her @#$# was helping much, thanks alot. NOT.
Two, the other has sarcasm way higher than the world's TALLEST skyscraper. It's so freaking annoying and insulting, I practically build up my insulting arrows myself. Thanks alot "shifu" but I'd rather you just shut up and #)$(#. I don't need YOU picking on extremely minor things like the rate at which I eat my food. It has nothing to do with you.
Three, this is just almost far beyond hope. In which she has a shred of humanity as comparable to that of the most WANED moon ever seen in history of the constellations of the night sky. Or maybe it's just a nano speck of dust.
Four - I think you're seriously bitchy, my dear. I'd wish you'd stop trying to act as if you are very #$((#$ when you're really just a )@#$)(#). I can tolerate you but sometimes, you push me over the edge.

I DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH 1234 ANYMORE ! Crazy.

Emo Kids: Teen Angst & Us.

2007-07-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

SNG SPIRIT: OY St Nicks I love you lots ! :) I know some of our fellow peers are highly disappointed we lost to Cedar (What's the deal on that?) but HEY it's the matter of SPIRIT kay (: I'm proud of the track team for putting in their best effort into this track meet :D Even though I wasn't really interested in going at first - it changes, when you're there. You really feel like a school, so proud of every one of our accomplishments.......

SO GO NICKS GO GO GO! 10 years, and I've wasted none studying here (:

Picture book of memories, how we used to be
Some people spend a lifetime waiting for their dreams
But I won't find the answers by looking at the stars
I will find my strength in the beat of your heart

I'm quite sad that you didn't show up - I thought you did have some school spirit in you ): It's fairly disappointing really, that you rather use your time for something else than this. You faked it and we all knew, we just didnt want to expose you (actually, we didnt care. You're quite like that.) I wish you'd change.

One fine day you'll find me
A thread of smoke arising on the sea
In the far horizon

Prelims start to worry me.

Yeah, it does. Nightmares. Daymares. Noonmares :(

Everything scares me.

Thoughts of you, me, him,
Under the knobbly cocoa tree
French air kisses, hugs for Swiss
We're as merry as would be

But he burns, the storm surge
And we're going way under tonight.

Reflection over y=-x

2007-07-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

You don't remember me, but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who?
Can decide,
What they dream?
And I dream I do...

Track meet @ CCKS tmr! Today something highly unpleasant happened in class (4P-ers, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about eh!) and please don't let us relive it again. I absolutely detest it when these kind of matters occur.. especially since they should not be taking up lesson time (how incredibly... unethical!). We go to school to learn, and not to encounter YKW.

Mmm. On hind sight, I really hope it isn't scorching hot tomorrow - bring a cap bring a cap! :D And DON'T LET IT RAIN EITHER PLEASE. The last track meet we went to was DISASTROUS! It rained and the ppl beside me (with their umbrellas) dripped water on me. I told them and they didnt do anything... So I decided to be bad and drip on them too. Well once I had my umbrella out. HAR HAR! :D -evil-

I believe in you, I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you,
To live,
To breathe,
You're taking over me.

I look in the mirror and see your face,
If I look deep enough,
So many things inside.......

This song is too apt. I love emo emo emo emo non-emo songs!! :)

Sing to me little birdy,
Sitting on the apple green tree
How hath ye summer been,
Are the plains at home still green?

Whisper to me little spider,
Resting on bough of timber
Spin me a web, spin me a tale
When will your journey set sail?

Roar at me little breezy,
Billowing my cloak in the wind,
Where have you come from rest,
North, south, east or west?

I pay heed to the commoner's deed,
I sit upon skulls with crossbones,
You come and enter with riches in your eyes
And still you can't tell they're all just lies.

Acidified Potassium Dichromate Six.

2007-07-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

Normal Day Report:

What can I say - Another day at school; yet another stressful week of tests and all. We did the family dance today (all the whilst praying they didnt happen to go: 4 Purity!) - how rare really, that was the surprise of the day indeed :/Math popped along (Vectors, sigh - we all detest vectors to the core of the earth), Geography skiddled past (I don't like maps) and poof - Recess. Then we had Chemistry (Organic Chem is quite fun, I now realise), Physics (I hate you radioactivity. Damn the CRO.) and 15 mins of English.

I did all my homework too. Yaysers :) Hahah. Listening compre. Aiya shit la, already made mistakes but I can't be bothered. I'm going to rely on this:

L1 - English (Well what else do I have - Tamil!?! Tsk.)
R5 - (Breathe!)
- Biology,
- Chemistry,
- A and E Math (YES I MUST! Even though my math is ......)
- Geography (Omg. Please A1 A1 A1).

Yepp. And I love Rob Paranovian cause he's darn funny (Pachelbel Rant). Omg then today during Listening Comprehesion Symphony 92.4 FM played Pachelbel's oh-so-(in?)famous Canon in D (what a drag.) Laugh laugh laugh.

"Now I don' even go to Tacobell.. it sounds too close!"

Emo Spaz:

I think I'm starting to unwind, like a roll of yarn slowly rolling till it's all tangled in a large heap of - well, yarn. And when I say 'unwind', I don't mean in the 'de-stress' good sense, I mean the "oh my god, I'm about to combust!" bad sense. I'm getting very annoyed over my emo spats since it's completely and utterly random - just like a radioactive source spouting radiation (a,b,y) randomly over space and time.

I don't get it. When you thought you had found peace in a new community, something you buried had to dig its way out (and you think: didn't you die?! Obviously not.) and come back to haunt you. Exasperation is an understatement. You tried, you emo-ed, you wailed and bailed and now the past and come back to take all serenity away. Thanks a lot for absolutely nothing.

That's just tip of the iceberg, too. I can't believe over such a long, extended period of time nothing has ever changed. Lies, false yapping, detestable demeanour (or not? NO.) and uncontrollable uncountable numerous infinity sins are still PRESENT and no move of FORGIVENESS has been sought out. Wth. I wish you got into normal and not into special because when you're there, you have too much time on your hands. You should kill yourself for a good Jew that died during the holocaust. Do a good deed to the world. Cause you never did.

It's okay, I feel like banging my head on the wall too :) With reference to your sadistic lust (actually that's really accurate beyond its actual meaning) :/

And you know, I'm not sad anymore. It's all so familiar that it's just become mere annoyance.

I hate it when people who don't know the wood talk and laugh about all the pains you've been through. Sometimes they understand and sometimes they are just plain insensitive. I mean if you don't want to believe me just go ahead and try it for yourself. Shut up and leave me be, I have more important things to attend to.

I pride over my future (there'll be one.) than any of the incessant mumbles you horde over my head of unimportant matters like YKW.

Shut up.

Pixel Me <3

2007-07-15T11:46:00.001+08:00

Haha okay, I made a new layout cause I was tremendously bored. Black&White (Who doesn't love the old school thing?), quite plain, but I like it anyhow (:

I think I like Latin guys more and more now. Admit it: Latin is HOT ! ;) Enrique Iglesias is a perfect example of good looks with terribly lovely, intoxicating vocals to boot! Okay I really shouldn't be slacking off here but SS is just so boring, if you catch my drift.

I bought Hayley Westenra's third (and first) album! Treasure (3rd) is nice but I think Pure (1st) is the best. With hits "Across the universe of time", "Dark Waltz" and "Never say goodbye" - I don't think any of her albums can beat this, but hey - her voice still rocks :) I will so buy your 4th album Hayley !! :D

Oh my goodness, it's Monday tomorrow :( I'm not exactly the happiest girl on earth because we have to support the track team next week - yes its mandatory - but well I guess I'll live with it. I'm just really not fond of "wasting" time (especially since it's Wednesday - the FREE DAY of the week!) ... especially since now my class has 3 tests on Friday and many aren't particularly happy about it. I mean if it were Math it'd still be okay, but Chem + Geog + SS is enough to kill the brain.

Wait, I forgot: Secondary 4 was made to kill you. Sigh. Horrible horrible horrible life we lead. We spend half of our life trying to study like nuts and the other half worrying about money-making/success. The rest, on how to live longer.

Humans are so - dare I say it? - pathetic. (Including myself, duh.) AIYA this is nuts and totally trash.

A guy raped the missy down the lane,
Gun to her head, knife to her soul
Poor girl lost her dignity, pride and all
Couldn't take a blow, a ride, the fall

Before the jury, he denies those 'lies',
Says she's a witch - Burn her at the stake!
A flame to torch, a fire to sins
Was it true, was it her mistake?

No one told her to tell the town,
No one told her to ask around,
No one gave their pity to the lover bound,
No one told her to make a sound.

:O

2007-07-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

Your EQ is 147

131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

Somber Sats

2007-07-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

Congratulations Sarah Yipppp for earning 2nd place at yesterday's PESA Finals! <3>

---

I feel like an aristocrat
Living with an alley cat
I laugh, dance, talk and sing
I'm the ruler over everything

Questionable.

2007-07-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Congratulations Sarah Yip for attaining SECOND PLACE IN THE PESA COMPETITION :) :) I am so proud of you girl! :) Way to go girl! :)

Not really in a blogging mood. Later.

McFlurry Days!

2007-07-11T20:20:00.000+08:00

4 PURITY HAD MCFLURRY FANDOM TODAY. XIE XIE CHEN YONG MING LAO SHI FOR TREATING US (ALL) TO MCFLURRY. HAHAHA THANK YOU FOR BEING SO UTTERLY BIASED... I think. HAHAHA! :)

Short recap on today's ... events:

I was pretend Math Leader for one day! I got to collect the papers! HAHA. Uh, okay.
Loci is horrible. Yet now I like it more than P&C.
I do not like P&C.
Statistics was meant to kill your brain when you draw the graph. I re-drew my axes THREE times. What a waste of time!! >(
Biotechnology is utterly useless and random.
I LOVE BREAD PAN. PANNERIFIC.
McFlurry Day! :D Got to remember to thank CYM for it tmr, out of sheer politeness. I suppose it's only courtesy. And he refused to eat one when Pris gave it to him! AHA!
4 PURITY MIGHT BE GOING TO HK! :D Hm. No complaints there but ehhhhh I rather Korea you guyzzzzzz.
I LOVE PA-MURR-LUH! :) And Shu Ping. And Karenny. And Angel-line.
I am supporting Sarah Yipps on Friday! All the best Starry Sis <3
OMG *##)$($#(%(#*$**#$ SMSed ME )#$(%#)()($(# !!! Amzing. Sheeeeeeeerly.
Heh. Uhh :)

OVER AND OUT!

P.S. I SEEEEEE THE MONKEEEEEEEEEY!

What's Worth Living For

2007-07-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

One day her mum told her jokingly,
"Nothing must happen to you..
Otherwise, I'd die."

I can't live like this anymore.

It hurts. It's so much more than physical and mental constraints - it's ripping me from the inside out. I'm at my limit. I kept telling myself, "It's okay, that day will come," but I don't know when that day will come because I don't think I'm going to hold out much longer. I can't take it anymore, I'm so sick and tired of it but yet its a burden I carry.

I wish there was an easy way to die, so it was totally painless and free of any strings attached. If only I could bear to leave people behind, if only I could rip out this heart and stop it from beating forever. I'd love them too much to go, and it'll hurt too much to leave them in sorrow. I love them too much. Too much to waste this life away.

Yet I think I am dead.

I am like him,
Whose heart died when his sister
Was eaten by the Russian soldiers.

I'm eating my own tears as I eat my dinner in front of this space. It sounds sick but it's like watching a cycle. Those who die and there are those who are born to replace those who have passed. I feel like if I die it would make no difference to anyone, except those who knew me.

Yet I cannot die like this.

It fucking hurts, so badly, and no one will ever comprehend how much it tears me apart like this. How my self-esteem is shodden and broken and ripped up into shreds. I can't look people in the eye, I can't do anything that would aid me along. I am such a fucked up shit what the fuck la. I hate myself so much and no one will ever fucking comprehend how much Sarah Tan Meifeng should never have been born.

I swear your lives would have been better.

I wish I was never born.

And the girl smiled sadly and replied,
"Yeah, I know,".

"I know."

Closer To Home

2007-07-07T20:49:00.000+08:00

We're bleeding beautific minutes,
It won't be soon before long

(I'M NOT A M). When will you people ever get it !! >(

What a Saturday. I dread the thought of returning to school in T-minus 1+++ day. I want to sleep more - it's times when you're secondary 4 that you realise sleep is oh-so-precious - I slept at 9p.m. yesterday! :D Well. I think I did. Unless I read the time wrongly :/

Radioactivity purges the brain! >< I think Brain has had an effect on me.. I'm starting to visualise people looking like brains with LIMBS walking around OH MY GOD. See this is why I say that too much school kills your brain cells cause, it does! It makes you nuts and you don't think straight. AND I'm fully aware I'm completely describing myself now -.-

Autograph Book Craze has overtaken my class. Sigh, makes me sad whenever I write those "Testimonial" things, seems like we're growing apart already. I'm going miss all our stupid antics , and the fun we guys have! Crazy 4P, the noisy bunch. And my tablebuds, our favourite secret sign - High 5/2/T!!!

Here's a list of what I will miss (from 4P) - in no particular order of importance:

Peiyi (Peiyonggg) - Omg tabledeskpartnerbuddddddy! Haiz. The chao smarty girl, who's ESP. damn pro in Chinese (so pro that you just WHOA at her.. proness.) Very funny one leh. Got bf too - named LAMBDA. (Wait. How do you spell it!? Oh who cares XD)
Shuling (GUO BAO) - Haiz. Math/Science/Humans Genius. The leader of Mensa (futuristic thinking here). So brilliant that we all just sigh and fall flat whenever she gets some unattainable score for people with lesser-than-thou IQ's. THE COUNTRY'S PRESIDENT SCHOLARRRR.
Sheena (the Banana) - Awwww my Sheeeena (: Lurve lurve. I like clinging to Sheena cause... she's cling-y! :D Known commonly to the population as the girl who has illegible writing. Haha. But smart all the same leh. Sits in front of me :) :) :)
ZQ (aka. Ng Ziqin) - How to describe her ah. Classical music fan, that's for sure. In fact the funny thing is, the people in front of me (we sit in fours) - Sheena, ZQ, Zhangwei and Dian - are all Grade 8 holders (and above) for Piano. Hurr. Pro hor. HAHA. ZQ ALSO LIKES ANIME!! YAY ANIME FANNN :) And love monster FANATIC!!! <3333
Zhangwei (Gayyy) - My irritating egoistic BEST FRIEND yesssss :) She likes classical music and cai fan HAHA :) I like to take her pencil case and spill all the contents on the table. I also like to go to her house and play SIMS2 (: I LOVE ZHANGAY.
Deborah (BOOBA) - MY BEST FRIEND (TOO!) HAHAHAHA. Deborah is a funny tablematebud. She thinks I'm soft and nice to hug :/ (Insulting!) Hmm. Likes to crap alot and makes too much noise during lessons. Peiyi and I always shake our heads XD
Dian (Dian the Bian3) - OMG. How to describe her. SO FUNNY AHHAHA and she's is WAY smart beyond reason. In gym, has training 6 times a WEEK, and her grades are still way better than mine - see this just pure G can :O Anime fanatic <333.>
Yanzhuuu (Yanboo) - Yanzhuzhu the crazy one with the REALLY evil laugh (close to mine leh!) ! She likes to annoy Peiyi, laugh and crap with Deb... and.... Hmmm. I THINK SHE LIKES BREAD PAN. (I think we all do now.) Yanboo and I do nonesenical things unfathomable to mankind. Or not. XD
Karen (Mushroom) - Always "close-curtaining" on me. Super slow eater (but NOT the slowest!) Very very regal. No wait, actually she just looks super refined. Haiz. She is one of the people I don't understand why they enrolled in St nicks. That kind of T-score... So wasted. Er, no offence lah, but I love Karenny and Karenny loves meeeee :)
Liyi (Yi li Dan) - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THE SLOWEST EATER IN THE WORLD. SHE'S DAMN DAMN DAMN SARCASTIC AND FUNNY, my behind-me-tablematebud! Omg. She brings bread and we (Peiyi and I) always HIT the bread (through the plastic DOI) to get the SMELL! AHAHAHAHHA IT'S SO CHAO FUNNY!!!! And she diaos me all the time. But I know she loves me .. despite her cold, cold, exterior. EH IT'S TRUE.
Angeline (Brain) - Too smart le. Unfathomable! Weird girl, very lame (jokes and puns and what-evs'.) but somehow I am super appreciative of her sarcasm and dark humour (: (: Love love love love! :D She sits in front ... across from me, and likes to bug Imran for Ferrero Rocher's. GO ANGELINE! GO~!
Sally (Sai lei - smart in canto) - AWWWWWWW my cutey wutey sally wally :) HAHAHAH. She hor, looks very cute and supposedly meek - BUT DON'T BE FOOLED PEOPLE. Underneath her calm and placid exterior lies a brazen girl who laughs like a maniac and does incredibly stupid things. But, I LOVE SAILEI (: Molesteessss.
Keat Ying (Keat Ping the Ing) HAHAHA. Eh K Y is a M. But she says I am one, which is SO totally wrong. I mean it's completely illogical. Sigh. KY has funny glasses - and I call her the Super Nerd! :D HAHAHA. I like to dump her things on her table to irk her! But we are gooody pals nonetheless, HAAA :)
Yun Sheng (.... Sheng?) - THIS PERSON DSAed SUCCESSFULLY INTO RJC, that POK, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH YOU POKKY. Haiz. People INVITE her one leh. So lucky hor. I'm going to miss you like crap lah, haiyer :( The girl who begs for testimonials :D HAHA. LIYI'S BFFFFF :) - Boy friend. Not bff. But that works too :)

Aiya, got so many ppl, you tell me how to write. I'm so tired already. EYE PAIN and I haven't completed WS 21 yet :(

And did you know..................

KIM POSSIBLE SEASON FOUR COMING SOON YES YES YES YES YES ! HAHAHA. That, and a few more months to SushiLand. -Sighs happily!-

New Age

2007-07-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

Kingdom of cards at sky point,
The man points to the 52th door.

The day started out nicely, depsite the yucky weather and the hideous thought of jogging (no offence but I dont like exercising much.) - because they PLAYED string orch's syf piece as the... motivation music (-__-) - BUT YAY! :) Hahahha so happy until I jog so fast. Wahoo.

Today was pretty tame, I guess. Boring, as usual. What else. Math, History - Got back the test - Geog (Test GRRR CARELESS :/) AND PHY SPA SKILL 3 (SUPER qian bian please. I was staring at the paper like it was some kind of alien. And you know, it probably was :/)

Sigh. I am so not counting on Physics for a excellent A. No way in hell.

Okay. Next week is really horrible - 7 tests ! English DESCRIPTIVE YAYYYY!! Finally some English essay that makes me superly overjoyed to participate in. Hurr. I hope I can move the physics test earlier cause I want to support Sarah Yippppppy on Friday! GO SARAH! And congrats on getting into the finals.. but like I said, I'm so, totally, not-a-bit surprised :D

2nd week is going to be over. Oh my goodness.

MENSA INTERNATIONAL, brilliant minds, and OUR SHULING IS GOING TO LEAD THEM ONE DAY! GUO BAO! OMG. SHU LING WILL JOIN MENSA AND BECOME A TOP BRAINIAC, WIN NOBEL PRIZES AND CREATE A CURE FOR SOME CANCER OR EVEN BETTER - AIDS! YES, 4 PURITY'S SHU LING IS SO SMART IT WILL MAKE THE WORLD TREMBLEEEEEEE.

(In awe).

And Shuling, please don't go be a teacher. You're wasting your ohmygodlyIQbrain on it - GO BE A PRIZE WINNER! GOOOOO.

AND WHEN YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL, DON'T FORGET THE LITTLE PEOPLE LIKE MEEEEEEE :)

---

S T is not a M. Only people like K Y and S L are Ms. (Universal fact - created by Moi.)

We're starting to feel fake, so disintegrate
And the world will forget you and I

Danger Sign

2007-07-03T21:43:00.000+08:00

We talk in riddles, walk in circles,
We're the written complexity

It feels really odd now, like with everyday that passes, we grow more and more weary. I feel like a walking charity meatbox. Everyday after school, I'll throw a piece of me into the donation box. One day there's going to be nothing left to throw into the box. Then what am I going to do?

Sometimes, I feel that no one looks at the danger sign we stick next to roads.

The little black man bathes in yellow,
50 yards away from Mr. Green
That little black man without a face,
The small fellow remains unseen

I think the man rides the zebra tides,
And jokes with the hooker on 77th street
That man who's no more than five feet tall
Tries to keep his affairs discreet

Mr. No Name's gone off to play again,
He's left weary travellers as roadkill
Tell him they're dying, they can't be saved
Tell him there's no well atop the hill

The little black man soaks in yellow,
One hundred and twenty above the ground
That little black man without any eyes,
Yet his clones are all around.

Boo.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2007-07-02T15:50:00.001+08:00

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

Why am I like this? Time for self-reflection. You had one chance and you blew it all away. You were close, but not close enough. I am never close enough.

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone

I feel like crying.

But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

---

Whispers of the wind hissing agreements,
Go forth, go on and be brave, young girl
You're almost there - mere steps away
All you have to do is fall off the world

She spoke words of comfort and her own
Yet cold and ruthless I, turned her away
How could I harden this heart when it's dying
To agree and go for the day

Oh this sunny horizon has now turned gray
My camera only shows the happy yesterdays
We're back to two, my shadow and me
Happy together in calamity, we're as mellow as can be

Of ill faith and all my doubts, she tried
I fail to listen, to heed, and I lie in regret
There's no more chances, there's no more ways
She's going going gone

She's gone

Logic?

2007-07-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I don't get people try so hard to hide something when it's all about being logical. It's laughable when some only get hiding is the first half, then they forget about hiding the hind end, and poof there goes their cover. Funny bunny hunny. I'm all about the rhyming these days :D

Oh well, bye Week 1. So scary, so frightening - SCREAM. 9 more till DD and I realise me + comp mix TOO well on weekends! Total NO concentration. Screw it. (Screw bolts.)

Dear Sarah,

My dear girl do you truly comprehend
Facts when you completely misunderstand
Can you tell black from white and colours to gray
Can you tell between hour and minute, night to day?

You hide your secrets up your sleeve,
Thoughts like the Amazon when you're truly naive
Yet others play you like a king's fool
Are you nothing but a pawn or are you a tool?

Why do you say no, when your heart' screaming yes
And you're walking upon a bed of excuses, of lies
Could you stop this all, and free yourself
From your fraud disguise, and you eventual demise?

I don't know you anymore, but you are me, we're one
We're twins and we're shadows under the sun
But I can't tell if we're true to ourselves, are we?
Oh dear me, help.

Who am I,
Me.

And If ?

2007-06-30T23:58:00.001+08:00

If that happens, haha.

But I'm certain I'll give it up.

Sorry.

I.

Can't do it.

And it's silly,
how I give up so easily like this,
yet when it comes to other things I react
In a total different way.

Are you disappointed?

So am I.

It was nice to dream......

Nice to think of the possibilities...

Haha..

:)

It's a minute to midnight

No it's midnight.....

I think I have my answer.

Dark Waltz

2007-06-29T21:18:00.000+08:00

(Hayley Westenra - Dark Waltz)

We are the lucky ones
We shine like a thousand suns
When all of the colour runs together

I'll keep you company
In one glorious harmony
Waltzing with destiny forever

Dance me into the night
Underneath the full moon shining so bright
Turning me into the light

Time dancers whirling past
I gaze through the looking glass
And feel just beyond my grasp is heaven

Sacred geometry
Where movement is poetry
Visions of you and me forever

Dance me into the night
Underneath the full moon shining so bright
Turning me into the light

(Hayley Westenra: Across the Universe of Time)

When the sea falls from the shore
As the light sinks low, will I see you any more?
As the rain falls from the sky
Can I bring you back, from a distant lullaby?

Show me your vision, the story begun
Two lights are rising and burning as one

In the deep blue of the night
Shine the millions of stars and my spirit burning bright
Spinning on, into the sun, flying higher
Now my journey's begun... And the...

Cold, cold wind, it blows me away
The feeling all over is a black, black day
But I know that I'll see you again
And I know that you're near me

There's a star, calling my name
It's echo is true and the song is not the same
Take my hand and lead me away
Bring me back to you in your arms I'm going to stay...

Tell me your vision, the story begun
Two lights are rising and burning as one

All those years drifting in space
I have known you well, yet I've never seen your face
You turn around, looking at me, laughter in your eyes
And now I can see

And the cold, cold wind, it blows me away
The feeling all over is a black, black day
But I know that I'll see you again
And I know that you're near me

(Hayley Westenra: Never Say Goodbye)

If I could take this moment forever
Turn the pages of my mind
To another place and time
We would never say goodbye

If I could find the words I would speak them
Then I wouldn't be tongue-tied
When I looked into your eyes
We would never say goodbye

If I could stop the moon ever rising
Day would not become the night
Wouldn't feel this cold inside
And we'd never say goodbye

I wish that our dreams were frozen
Then our hearts would not be broken
When we let each other go...

If I could steal this moment forever
Paint a picture-perfect smile
So our story stayed alive
We would never say goodbye

---

TELL ME THESE LYRICS AREN'T JUST THE BEST !! IT'S SO NICE.

AND HER VOICE, IS POSITIVELY HOLY/ANGELIC.

:D:D:D:D:D:D

Eddy Edward

2007-06-27T22:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I really feel like throwing everything away for what it's worth. Perhaps it's natural to have this feeling, because you're so sick of it that the best solution just seems to be letting it go.

But you just know you can't possibly do that.

Oh praise my computer abstinence!!! I haven't touched it since SUNDAY (COMPLETELY) and I only logged on at 10.p.m. today after I did my work. My classmates are stunned because (HAHAHA) the computer addict actually managed to forgo the compy. Yeah actually now I don't really feel much of need to use it. Hurrr.

I'm really tired. Sleeping at 11-12 p.m./a.m. everyday tires me out because it's a non-stop study thing after school till that time. I don't know how to motivate myself, and I think the only thing that drives me now is:

1. Japan with SNSO. (I tell my classmates this everyday and I never ever get sick of thinking of the fun we're so going to have!! :D)
2. Prom Night (Okay that's because SHOPPING for prom will be fun!)
3. Fantasies of never-going-to-happens XD

We lead the most beautiful sardonic life.

Remembrance,

2007-06-24T20:23:00.000+08:00

To me, relaxation is often (if not always) taken for granted whenever we're granted a possible overdose of it. It's like you're swimming in a lagoon and you don't ever have to worry (or you don't even bother to) that the water will suddenly run out and you'll be paddling circles on the dry "seabed".

I'm down to less than four hours before the new day begins and I can no longer wake up late, nor can I walk about with ease - not without the nigging feeling of being shorted of time and with the impending Prelims and O's breathing on my neck. I'm going to miss lounging around, idling the beautiful hours and (nearly) nonexistent seconds of the day away. I still feel that time passes too quickly for this human brain of mine to fathom.

You could say, I'm being an irascible little girl (well I am) because she hasn't had enough fun (true, I haven't gone out shopping - NOT ONCE during this period of holidays) and hasn't caught up with her sleep (understatement of the month). I can't even bother attempting to strike up a sense of optimism about this matter, when it's clearly so pessimistic not even a million bright pearly-whites could save the rabid depression that's settling over me. It's like I'm envisioning a rain cloud pouring rain over my head, much to my annoyance.

Why the constant thought of this "turning point" (Olevels lah duh) irk me and WHY does it never fail to badger me whenever I go. It's really some sort of harassment that you can't lodge a complaint about, a form of stress - see, this is why there is the inexorable rise of teens leaping off buildings to seal their fate, not only in Singapore might I add !!! - and it's really nothing but negative energy sealed in a form of humanoid evilness. I don't know. It just is. It stinks it sucks and its horrible but PLEASE hurry up and come so I can pronouce it dead and consider it a bygone.

They often say, hard work begets results, but I think it's only true to a (sadly and most unfortunately) limited extent. I don't know, I don't think fate is fair in the way it distributes its cards - but hey no one proclaimed life was fair anyhow - but I'm so (($*#*()$)#)($ about this matter because it's simply so screwed. When I do matter A, I think about having matter B,C,D,E,F, etc on my "subject" list to complete. It's a nightmare, a terror, and sometimes hard work just isn't enough to calm all your fears. Nightmares.

Whatever. (You get the gist.)

We talk about the future like un(or otherwise)/excited puppies yearning for the meagre taste of adulthood (relish childhood, I don't like the sound of taxes or bills in my mailbox). But I think I'm trying to pull back. I don't like to go forward into a society where its so..............

Oh nevermind. We can talk about future after o levels. After A levels.

TTYL, I still need to finish my supper/dinner.

How?

2007-06-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

Today I will ensure that I get the best 40 winks I have ever caught in my entire life. Once term 3 begins, I can kiss all my sleep goodbye~ (waves dramatically like in silent film).

She can't decide between play and pause,
The very essence of stop in the air,
You could, would and possibly should
Pretend you don't even care

Cause it's dog-eat-dog and hell's paradise
Can't scrimp on a single grain of rice
She can't choose rewind or forward
And don't understand why they're walking backwards

If I say hi you'll say goodbye,
So you should, could, would never say the word
That'll send us on the seismic trip
All around the world.

I'll throw the ease of love without meaning
Into the ring for the fighters to win
You can own all that's to touch and feel
But you'll never gain the real deal

A thousands dots for a vague reason,
And a convicted couple sued for treason
I love all 5 conflicted seasons
Remember within the girl lies a living demon

You could, would, and possibly should,
Throw all meaning away.

S4S

2007-06-22T21:01:00.000+08:00

We could presume, that we are all living in a nightmare. About 30minutes ago I think I slapped myself back into the harsh cold of reality - Yes, school's about to start in 2 days, and oh my god it's going to be hectic (understatement of the year). Just looking at my test schedule is really, really, scary.

And then we start asking: Are we doing enough? Are you sure? Because we're never sure what we're doing is really there - only that people around tell you: Yes, you're already there, but in reality you really aren't. And you know it. Oh self-confidence is needed in all these matters and it can never run short in instances like these. Help help help.

Stalwart whitewash in my view,
It's the perfect neighbourhood
But the F5's on time for the kill
In face we're nothing but live brood

You cry for mercy and I beg in vain
White flags draw red in the devil
You can't save something so controversial
Can't curtail all your wrongs (rights?)

Is it all but a dream, or faux reality
You talk in ice but your heart's warm
Marred like no tomorrow but I live to die today
I am the epitome of sadness from yesterdays

You can't spell the Y that doesn't exist
And what you can't see will take your life
In chess its every move that counts and
Somehow I think you walked off board.

Walk the plank, honey.

2007-06-22T14:34:00.000+08:00

Notes serve silk to calm the sea
As winds sing the ocean's melody
Calm thy hearts but they don't calm he
He who yearns for the silent she

Count a thousand sleepless nights
And a million less than dreams
Below a many endless depths
She lives amongst dead screams

He couldn't part death but he could life
It was a decade since his last breath
Oh but the ghost at sea, his lover she
Mourned every dew of death

If what that rose fell to end
And all that lived would die
No one could ever differentiate
Between real truth and lies

Suddenly

2007-06-21T21:39:00.001+08:00

It's like I've suddenly been introduced to a new world with a spanking burst of wonderful determination! :D I hope I can do it, you know? :)

I really hope I can :D HERE'S TO ME!

CHEERS <3

:D

2007-06-20T19:56:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA my mummy is damn funnyyyyy.

You know in Singapore, our tap water is relatively clean and is safe for drinking purposes right? Haha nevertheless my family only drinks distilled water (seriously, we only drink like Volvic, Ice Mountain, etc.) so my mum always goes to the market/supermarket/etc. to buy all these bottles.

So then today she told me whenever she goes to buy these drinks people give her funny looks like "why does she buy drinking water when you can just drink from the tap?" And my mum gets so damn irritated so one day this happened:

Person: Why do you buy distilled water for? (Stupid question to my mum)
Mum: (replies stupid Q with a stupid ans) TO BATHE.

(LAUGHLAUGH HOLY SHIT IT WAS DAMN FUNNY LAHHHHHHHHHH) GO MUM! GO MUM!

And I like to sing this nursery rhyme to irritate her.

"There she goes,
Nag nag nag" AHAHAHAHAHAH OMG HAHAHAH MUM-DAUGHTER INTERACTION ROCKKKKKKKS.

:D :D

----

BYTHEWAY, I cut my hair. It's really gross now ): Damn sad. I suppose it's more chic than the plain "long, boring, straight hair" but EXCUSE ME IT'S TOTALLY YUCKY.

ARGH, NEVERMIND, I'LL CHANGE IT AFTER O LEVELS >(

Pretty (Good) Year

2007-06-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

I'll pocket myself a memory,
And photos from their frames
Hide tears behind the shades and
Left your letter with the flames

I'll pen down words left unsaid,
And drink all sorrows away
But this heart don't seem to get
You're a part of yesterday

When all the present waned to past
And the future collapsed in grave
It was better for never and too late
You're something I couldn't save

I last saw you in the mirror and
First met in a timeless age
It was the paper tiger calling bluff,
And cat to the canary in the cage

My heart yearns for what I decline
I'm letting go of what isn't mine
You're the fancy of all things fine
And the haunted house with a danger sign

I formed your name in Braille and sound,
To replace what's gone when you weren't around
If words would speak and truth won lies
You'd see more than tears in these eyes

Feel the Lourve

2007-06-18T21:28:00.000+08:00

JAPAN. OH MY GOOOOSHHHHH JAPAN IS NO LONGER A DREAM - IT'S A REALITY. WE ARE GOING TO JAPAN FA ALLALALAALLA. LIFE NEVER GOT BETTTTER. :D YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

ahem ahem :D

Some die for money and others for fame,
What weight of worth lies in thy name
I judge, I love and I hereby proclaim
The true heart always won fair dame

One day we'll see dollars like dimes
Know worth in a penny and in a second of time
Discern true meanings of words that rhyme
Forgive all sins, evil and heinous crimes

Obvious.

2007-06-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

It's getting extremely obvious. In Pokemon Diamond, you swipe honey all over the trees and leave it for 24 hrs ... only to find the tree shaking. And you heading to it with (supposed) anticipation, anxiety, excitement all bubbled into one character - You. It's amazing how technology works... how your brain works... Cause it's so complex I simply don't want to work it out.

I'm rather proud of NOT studying at all today.. got hooked onto my gameboy again HAHA. Okay gameboys are so past tense in our gaming history but old school rocks anyhow (: Just the bulkiness that makes you go all "uhhh". Super inconvienient, yet still super fun to play :D Though in Crystal I've completed everything and there really isn't any competition anymore...

Then I played my PSP :D Oh gosh I really really love how CLEAR the screen is !! Absolutely beautiful and gorgeous graphics.. Makes the murder cases even more realistic. Quite scary if you hold it really close to your face. And SIMS2 works wonderful on that tiny gadget.

I MIGHT BRING IT TOMORROW but it's better not to. Supposed to be studying in front of watching eyes. -Sweatdrop.

Meiji produces the best milk product. Ever.

Understatement of the year (:

31 Perfections

2007-06-16T18:11:00.000+08:00

You can't have all 32 anyway. What's one less?

I realise Saturday TV shows are so incredibly boring and unentertaining. And I don't know why whenever I am reminded of matter X I get angrier. It's so ridiculous lah, but blood-boiling all the same. And I wish I could go to Italy now, it has a really nice place I would like to visit (: It's by the sea and it's so beautiful to film a murder. (:

I officially despise cracking HTML stuff. It's incredibly, undeniably, completely frustrating. And if you think I'm being silly to post such stupidly unrelated stuff here, please quit reading since you can't read between the beautiful non-existant lines. (: Please note that this smile is for pleasing-purposes and is in NO way showing I am currently grinning like some stupid airhead idiot. It ain't funny to be grinning like mad as you're posting.

Let's begin encrypting.

I don't understand why we make ropes with alot of different kinds of knots in it. I know in Guides we learn how to do it - WITH A GOOD PURPOSE MIND YOU. But some people take ropes and form more knots than they need to in order to handle the matter. It's quite dumb when you suddenly have all these funny butterfly, dead, knots running all over the place. Then they run and ask you how to untie the untie-able.

Secondly, I find Penne absolutely delightful :) However eating Penne with seafood isn't really a good idea - like how I did today. You see you must pay attention to see that you DON'T consume any stray bits of broken shell that'll slit your tongue/throat. Innocent smile. It's absolutely wonderful to taste something so dangerous (: We all can relate to that, can't we?

Thirdly, I fucking hate pretending to be cheerful.

Being Watched

2007-06-16T14:37:00.000+08:00

Nah. I'm still not feeling fantastic, a bit better than yesterday, but moody all the same. Seems like this horrible feeling just won't go away huh. Kind of laughable, when I say that - it's almost like I need to laugh painfully till I start tearing up from all the sadness that wells up inside. Now smile so people don't know you're some crybaby :)

Picture perfect.

If I serve you on a silver plate
Of all the things rich and fine
Tell me why you can't see the gold
And why you insist being blind

Makes me wonder if you're trying
To save yourself or continue dying

I could care less you know, I think I really could.

Brutal Honesty

2007-06-15T21:11:00.000+08:00

Oh yay. Cherry & Johsi made me feel alot better with their words :D Thanks guys, cause now I feel tons better and I don't want to be involved in something that's NONE of business. :D

Let's write it down in words,
The very same you wrote and said
But you've been replying in black
When I've been penning in red

--- EDIT ---

Wipe those tears away, I know. It's official, for alot of things, that I should put an end to. All the people who I've talked to, are really right. Someone said, "Hey, sometimes you have to put yourself before others." And I've got to stop interfering with how fate wants things done. It's just very frustrating, that despite all my hardest efforts I can't save people who have a one track mind for one single destination. Here's to being selfish, and incredibly sorry all the same.

But I tried to save people that need to be saved. Warn those who need to be warned. Prevent the ending from coming true. And everyone can see the ending, it's only some who can't see. The people whom I'm trying to save can't see. If only, I wasn't so hell bent on helping, maybe I could forget the pain that strikes me whenever I think of it. I wish I could forget, so bad.

Cause up to now, it still hurts really bad. It hurts to watch and see, hear. Whatever. And now, I'm being shunned like never before. And it fucking hurts man. I feel like crying now cause it stinks that the people you care about don't care about you anymore. Oh crap I'm really tearing. I need some sort of bar so I can hang upside down and stop myself from crying.

Sometimes I really blame myself. Not others.

Welcome

2007-06-15T17:47:00.001+08:00

Hello, congratulations on locating this blog.

It feels strange. Very strange. To know that all this over. To know that I won't ever be able to change anything. That any word of apology or intentional irritance will never change what has already happened, never solve any wreckage I've done. I know I'll never revert back to who I once was. I think I've lost a piece of myself. Funny huh?

I'm running away from prying eyes that I know once I permitted into safe sanctuaries. Even someone I trusted can't be allowed to see this text. Viewership, in terms of media, is supposed to be - the higher the better. All I know now it's the lower the better. How ironic. Kind of. Here's to hoping no one else but the clearly INtended will find this site.

Something's stabbing at my heart,
I think it's time to take the antidote.